I learned something new last night. Tracy and I were together at her place watching some stuff on TV. After a while, Tracy decided she wanted to make out. I just wasn't feeling it at all. And this isn't the first time. Over the past few weeks, I've been less and less interested in kissing. I'm not sure what it means, but I'm just trying to go with it. Not much else I can do.

Anyway, last night we made out for a while. She really enjoyed it. And I smiled and made her happy. I wanted her to enjoy it, because she wanted it. She told me later she enjoyed her evening. That made me feel good about it. I made her happy, but I feel a little sad that I am finding myself not too sexually interested in her.

What I think I've learned is that I'm not interested in submissive women. I like dominant women. I want someone who's aggressive, knows what they want, and pushes to get it. Plus, I think Tracy's a bit androgynous for my tastes. I hate to say it too. She's a pretty girl. I think I enjoy even more feminine women though. I like seeing a girl in makeup that's more dramatic, and sexier clothing. Her mannerisms are very neutral too. I don't know why, but I guess that matters to me. It's not like it matters to me as far as like...me demanding it or anything. It just turns me on more. I can't really help that.

So I'm left wondering if Tracy and I really are going to last. We have perfect matches as far as personalities are concerned, but we don't match at all sexually. I guess that really just leaves friendship, which I don't want to end up as, but it may be that way. More on this later. I have to get to work.

~Jess

OK...if I was really speechless, this entry would be empty. The truth is though, that I had an amazing thing happen to me today. I got my first real job! My interview yesterday seemed as though there wasn't anything special about me. Yet today at 3:30, my phone rang. It was the job offer! Apparently both the HR person and the person I interviewed with yesterday really liked me! I was blown away. Totally and completely...

I was extended the offer, and I was freaking out. I very calmly asked if I could have an hour or two to think about it. Essentially I needed to calm down and think things through before I gave my answer. After a fit of me jumping around and yelling my celebrations, I called my dad and told him. He was really happy to hear it. I told him I was planning on accepting, and he said that he would too.

After that, I called back and accepted. I start on February 5th. My whole day was just incredible after that. For about an hour my whole body tingled. I'm still shocked really. I don't think it'll set in until my first day. I keep thinking...wow...I'm going to have my own health insurance. I'm going to have expendable income! I'm going to be able to pay off my credit card debt! I get to move out!! SWEET!! Haha.

Anyway, that's my incredible news of the day. Now...I'm off to try to sleep. Talk to you soon.

Luv,

Jess

We'll start with the Quantum stuff. This past weekend my friend Chris invited me to a resort that his work was paying the bill for him to stay at. It was a large conference, and he could bring a friend for the Friday to Saturday part. So he invited me. It was really fun. I got to eat a really really expensive meal (over $100 per entree). I had the filet mignot, which was exquisite. While I was eating, I was pondering some quantum physics philisophical ideals. For example...the idea of entanglement. Entanglement means that things that seem separate area really connected in some way. Since everything was entangled at the moment of the big bang, everything is still connected. We are literally all one. So I took a cut a peice of my steak and as I went to eat it, I paused with a strange thought. If everything is literally one...am I eating myself right now?

Today I went to the DMV to get my car registration renewed. I had to change the address on it, so of course that requires a visit to my least favorite government department. I mean that. The IRS doesn't bother me so much, because I usually get my tax money back. Anyway, I was smart and brought a book to read while I waited in line. For once though...I only had to wait about five minutes. I'd have to say that was the most painless visit to the DMV ever...with one exception: they didn't renew my registration. I had to get emissions tested. Oh Joy of Joys...

So I drove all over town trying to find the emissions test station I know of. Eventually I found it and drove up. To my surprise, there wasn't much of a wait. I had two cars in front of me. I probably waited about 10 minutes before having my car tested. Again...shock. I thought this was going to be the most painful thing ever. My car tested fine, I paid my money, got my sticker and drove away. I'm not complaining at all.

My last little tidbit of news is fairly important. I had two interviews this week. On Monday I interviewed for the internship that I've been pushing to get for well over two months, and today I interviewed for a real job. I really nailed the Monday interview. I found out that of all the people, my reel is the most impressive. The guy that would hire me thinks I've got the most shining of skills too in that I start projects and actually finish them. Basically it almost sounded as if he wanted to just give me the internship right then. I wont know for a week. He told me that I will find out by the end of the month and would start the first week of February. Cross your fingers.

Today's interview was good, but not as good as Monday's. I don't think anything stands out as being bad in the interview today, but the problem is that nothing stands out at all. I don't think there's anything that made me seem particularly special, but we'll see. As with the previous, I'll know by the end of the month. So again...cross your fingers, but also wish me luck.

Well, I'm hungry, and Tracy and I will be meeting for dinner in the next hour or so. So I shall be off. Talk with ya'll later.

Luv,

Jess

It's been a hell of a two days. I've sat in front of this computer practically non-stop. The only things that pulled me away from it are food, sleep, bathroom/shower, and girlfriend. That being said, it's been worth it. The site looks amazing, and so far so good on functionality. I've seen a few glitches here and there, but I've fixed em as I've gone along. I'd say things are go for launch sometime soon. Again...by the time anyone reads this, the site will be up.

In other news, I did FINALLY get in touch with both places that I've had trouble getting in touch with. I have my internship interview on Monday at 9:00 am. It's going to be rather long. I'm going to do well though. I can just feel it. The other job, however, seems a bit out of my reach. It involves being the head producer of four realty shows. I suppose it's possible, but they did tell me there are a lot of good applicants. So at least I'm not worried about false hopes this time. That's a major plus.

I'm excited about Friday because it means some relax time. I'm visiting my best friend, Chris, at an indoor waterpark. Through his work, he can bring friends to this conference at a resort. So he asked me to come. Of course I will!! I need the happy time and the relax time. It'll be really nice.

I'm pretty tired so I think I'm going to head to bed. It's been a long day, and I will sleep well after all this computer work. Hopefully thoughts of code won't keep me awake again. See ya all later. G'night.

Luv,

Jess

Today has been hell. First off I should backtrack. I applied for an internship with a large company. I've already had a meeting with the head of the department. So he knows I've been persistent and interested. On Monday I got a call from HR to set up a formal interview. I was at work at the time and couldn't respond right away.

The woman called me at noon. I called back about 30 minutes later and got a voicemail. I repeatedly called back until her voicemail changed saying she was out of the office Monday afternoon and Tuesday. Talk about frustrating!! I left a message specifying that I called her back and would call again on Wednesday when she was back in. I left my name, and my number in case she wanted to call me.

Today I call her, and she asked if she could call me back after she pulled my file. That was around noon today. Guess what...it's almost 4:30 and she hasn't called me back. I sit here wondering if I should call again and risk being a pest, or if I should wait it out. Either way...it's driving me crazy.

That's story number 1. Story number 2 is that I applied for a job last week with a realty company doing video production for them.  Tuesday I got a call to discuss the company and the job details. I wasn't available at the time the phone call came, so I've been calling back like mad. I keep calling and getting voicemail. I've left a voicemail every day so far to be persistent. I'm going to continue until I get someone. My guess is that the woman that called me is out of the office too. Arrrrrrrggggg!!!!!! That's all I have to say. I've already screamed and stomped my feet from frustration at home. I don't know how much more of this shit I can take.

~Jess