Blog

Today was a really full day. I've now actually started working at my job in the production staff at the station. I not only had a full day of classes, I also had to go help with the production of one of the in house shows for a couple hours. After that was the LGBT meeting that went another two hours. After that I finally got some fun time. All the cool people in the LGBT went out to eat at a local restaurant. It was a blast. I made a bunch of new friends and we most likely made the other patrons of the restaurant very uncomfortable. I believe there was an Amish family and your average three kid family there too. They left halfway through our visit. You could taste the apprehension in the air from people outside our group. We really didn't care and just enjoyed ourselves. It was a great time.

The best part of the whole thing is that we are only two weeks into the semester. I think in that time, I've doubled the size of my support group. Now I have people who give me hugs whenever I want and that can at least somewhat relate to me. It's so early in the year too. By the end of it, I'll have lifelong new friends. I think tonight was a taste of things to come. I think that even though I'll be busy as all hell over the next school year, I am going to have the greatest school year ever. I'll have to follow up on that in May.

I'm also very excited about tomorrow. It's my first voice lesson for this semester. We'll see what they have to suggest for me now that I've been speaking feminine for months. Also, my sixth laser treatment was moved up to Saturday. So, as of then, I'll be flat broke. Isn't that fun? But anyway, I should get some studying done before bedtime. I'll write soon. Good night.

Luv,

Jessica

Tonight was yet another good night. I had a "listening party" with a girl from my music theory class. We were intending on studying since she's a little behind in class. However, she and I ended up talking for hours. She had no idea I was trans, but had learned the other day from me that my name had changed at one point. She asked then why, but I told her I'd tell her at the party. So, that's what happened. She couldn't wait much longer before asking me about my name.

So I told her, and she was surprised and shocked....in a good way. She was totally not expecting that. She didn't even realize how much of a compliment it was. So we talked for a couple hours. Then we went to a local place to see a band play. It was one of the cooler bands I've ever seen. I thought it was awesome. I actually danced. That's amazing. The group was called "Madison Greene" and they had a very cool style. I'd watch them again.

After the band and everything, she and I hung for a while and talked a little more. I knew she was straight before I got to know her though. No surprises there. She's a really cool person and I hope becomes a great or even best friend. I couldn't be happier if she did. OK, well after all that excitement, I need some sleep. G'night all.

Luv,

Jessica

Wednesday was a really great day. I went to my first class, and learned that my professor basically goes over all the reading in class thus removing the need to read as much. After class there was a big campus organizations bash on the campus mall. I decided to find the LGBT booth and say hi. Well, I ended up spending two hours there. It was a grand ol' time. I met a lot of people and got a lot of hugs. Everyone there was giving me compliments stuff too. It felt so good to be loved instead of feared.

I was also happy to be introduced to several lesbian girls. That was nice. I need more of those in my life. Hehe. Yeah, anyway, the anime appreciation booth was a couple tables down. So I spent a lot of time switching between both groups. I'm a big fan of both. I made a lot of friends. I think I'll actually go to meetings now. That's something I've had no desire to do for quite some time now. So yeah, good times.

Later, I got to go to my campus job. That wasn't so bad either. I got to see a lot of old friends, and have a good time. The free food was good too. After the open house was over, I got to do my homework on the job. My brain was a bit tired cause the day was so energetic, I was worn out. I had trouble focusing on my work, but I think it was worth it. I'm so happy to be back at school. The homework doesn't bother me. However, if I don't get to bed now, I'm going to pass out tomorrow at some point. So, with that, good night.

Luv,

Jessica

I've used that pun one too many times today. Anyway, I had a good day. I finished classes and decided to visit the local electrolysis place I found online. I stopped in and they were all happy to meet me. They did a free consultation on me right then. It was something that would have taken 30 to 45 minutes normally, but they liked me so much, I was there two hours. I got to experience all of the different types of treatments. Some of them were very painful. In fact, I'd put it at about how painful laser would be without pain killers. That's pretty painful. But, not all of the methods were as bad. In fact, they were very tolerable. I could handle it no problem.

They were great too. I got a lot of compliments. They told me that they weren't sure if I was a transperson or not when they met me. It wasn't until they asked me what the "hairgrowth" was from that they knew. That's a huge compliment. One of the ladies mistook me for some other girl. She may have felt like she was insulting me by that, but again, compliment. I couldn't have enjoyed it more.....ok well maybe I could if there was no pain involved, but you can't have everything.

The best part is there is a possibility I may get really good rates there. If so, I could start right away. Otherwise I may have to wait until I get a job. Hopefully that wont be too long. We will see. They said something about a "results model" too. But I'm sure I'll get more information as things progress. At this point, I'm all for it. I love being a help to anyone I can be.

OK, now I should be a help to my professor and get enough sleep so I'm not falling asleep in class this morning. Good night all.

Luv,

Jessica

Today I had developmental blues. The fact that I've now been on HRT for six months and still have not seen any breast development is very depressing. I've talked to a lot of girls on hormones too, even at earlier points with more development than me. My optimism is very quickly fading. I wear a training bra now, but it's not because I need one. The only development I had was the initial nodule formation in the first two months. Since then, I've had nipples that practically poke people in the eyes. When I went back to school, I decided I didn't want to be doing that anymore. So, that's the only reason I started wearing a bra.

I have until October to have some sort of development, otherwise my endocrinologist is going to discuss my options with me. I have a feeling I wont see any changes by then though. I already know I'm not. This issue combined with my perpetual loneliness has really gotten me down lately. I just hope in these next few weeks, something good happens.

Luv,

Jessica