Posted on June 2nd 2006, 2:25 am
I don't know why, but I continually get myself into online relationships. They never work out the way I want them to. I always manage to find the women that either claim they "don't have a cell phone", send me pictures and such claiming they are someone else, don't talk to me on a regular basis, want nothing but online sex, etc etc etc. I'm really sick of it.
I realize that there are real people I could talk to. However, given that I'm not living in a Metropolis, that's only half true. There are real people that I could meet and talk to, but this area is not fraught with sexy feminine women who also happen to like women. Most of the women here are very masculine. Plus, there's really only one place to go if you want to meet gay people, and that's the gay bar. And since smoking is allowed here, it's pretty gross there. So...the combination of lack of places to meet people, and lack of people to meet makes it incredibly difficult to date anyone in town. So logically Ms. Computer nerd guru turns to the same place she has already gotten her back stabbed several times...the net.
Lately I've been "seeing" this girl named Jessica...no not me. I'm not seeing myself. Yes I know it's weird that we have the same name. Yes I...shut up already. Stop rubbing it in...are you done now? Are you? ok...let me continue then. So yeah, she's from out of state and isn't doing well financially because of family issues. When I say "lately" I've been seeing her, really I mean like...six months off and on. We met a long time ago. She's been interested in me since. I've just been trying to avoid online relationships entirely. However, I decided to open up to her recently and have found myself very attracted to her.
Then, once I start getting a bit more serious...suddenly she disappears from the face of the planet. Our conversations have been intermittent before, but now it's all but ceased entirely. If there's one thing I've learned about myself lately, it's been that I really need to have communication between whoever I'm interested in and myself. Otherwise, especially with online situations, I start to question things. I start wondering what she's doing in all that time, if she's seeing someone else, if she's stringing me along, if all of it's bullshit. Safe to say, I don't fully trust her. I've never been given a show of faith though. So I don't really know if I should. Considering my past situations with online love, I have every reason not to.
So yeah...here I am again in a situation where I feel like I'm getting strung along and I don't know what to do. I hate it, and I wish I could tell her how I feel. Unfortunately she's never online to have a conversation with. So...I'll just sit here wallowing in my emotions and cursing the fact that I let myself get emotionally attached again. The next time I start mentioning online relationship sort of stuff, please someone smack me in the head with a 2x4 or something.
Posted on May 28th 2006, 1:02 am
So...3:00 am a couple of nights ago I had to call the cops. I live next to a bar, and a drunkard decided that my balcony, which is accessible from the street, was an excellent choice for his night's slumber. I wouldn't have noticed he was even there if it weren't for kitty. He was over by the window peeking out. So I peeked out too. I was a bit surprised. So I called the non-emergency number. I happen to live literally across the street from the cop shop. So it took them about 2 minutes to get here.
There was some interesting conversation going on between the cop and the drunkard, mainly coming from the drunkard. It involved him having 16 thousand dollars in his wallet...then five minutes later him having 2 thousand dollars in his wallet...et cetera et cetera. So it was pretty interesting. Eventually he finally got the point that he had to leave and headed home. The cop called me to tell me everything was clear and that the guy was told that he'd go to jail if he came back. What a fun and exciting life I live...
In other news, I've been designing a solid database for the new website. I've also been working on the background for my animated series. It'll be neat and I'm excited about both projects. For now though...tis dinner time. Write more later.
Posted on May 25th 2006, 5:58 am
So...summer has hit. I've been relaxing a lot this first week. A lot of money has been going out lately, which is bad. However, a lot of it has been practical. Like...needed new clothes, a new bookshelf to house my text books and recently acquired gender library, and the occassional bill too. Some of it has been on non-practical stuff too, like Samurai Jack season 2, a new copy of the Lord of the Rings, and an expasion to the card game Lunch Money. No worries though, it was expected and planned for. So, it's all good.
I've been doing a lot of spring cleaning. I've gone through a whooooole ton of old documents and junk that was cluttering up my apartment. I cleaned a lot of my apartment too. My mother would be proud because it's starting to look shiny...really. I even dusted. My desk is bare. I have to work on my bedroom still, but that's the next target. Really I think my place is looking rather nice.
Now that things are cleaner, and I have more time...I'm starting to think about improvements to be made on translife. I'm not just talking adding features...I actually want to replace the entire backbone of software. I've learned some ruby on rails and plan to spend some major time revamping. My goal is to design a new diary/blog system integrated fully with the forums combined with photo galleries and the wiki. Essentially people will have one screen name and password for the entire site. I want avatars, moods, "currently reading/watching/enjoying..." stuff...everything. So...comment and give me your suggestions and thoughts. I'll post an entry in the forums too. Anyway, I'm getting my car looked at in the morning. So I think I'm going to head to bed. I'll post more in the next few days. See ya later.
Posted on May 22nd 2006, 9:16 pm
I was pleasantly surprised with my GPA this semester. I ended with a 3.47. Rockin!!
Posted on May 22nd 2006, 1:20 am
So...I had to return the keg of root beer that we got for the last TV station event of the year. As I was waiting to get my deposit back, the title of this post was called over the speaker system. Read it out loud and you'll see why I was laughing inwardly. Totally a true story too. Classic.
So commencement was yesterday. I didn't trip. I got lots of hugs and farewells. All in all it was a good day, albeit a bit sad. I will miss my school. I've spent so much time here that I've yet to admit to myself that it's over. Though...technically I'm waiting for two grades to get posted. I know pretty much what they are though. I'll post them as soon as they are up, which is likely going to be Tuesday, the deadline for professors to post them.
My family came up for the ceremony. That includes Mom, Dad, my older sister, and my aunt and uncle. We all went out to eat afterwards. I invited my best friend, who also graduated, his parents, and two professors. It was a great time. It's sad that it was just a one time thing because everyone got along so well. We wanted to continue chatting and such, but it started to get late. My professor and close friend Audrey gave me a very unexpected and expensive gift: Pearls. Normally I don't like them, but for some reason these I do like. She also told me the symbolism behind them in that her grandmother gave her a set of pearls when she got her undergraduate degree. I was so touched by that. Events like this happen, and I never expect presents. But there I was getting some of the most meaningful and touching presents I've ever received.
Today the exhaustion of the past few weeks finally hit me. I've been running on empty for a while now, and now I can relax. I've been napping and just doing nothing all day. I can't get the energy up to even do something fun, like read or play a video game. I have just been sitting around a lot. I need to do nothing though. However, it is quite the contrast for me. I'm going from 14 to 16 hour days to no responsibilities. Weird.
My plans for the next week....not much. Lots of relaxing, or chillaxing as my friend Dani says. I will probably start reading my research at some point. My only plan yet is to buy a new bookcase for my apartment. I have too many books and DVDs. I need places for them. Anyway, I'm going to go do some more nothing. I'll talk later.