I love waking up at 2:00 in the afternoon feeling all rejuvinated after a long week. Actually I wish I woke up at 9:00 in the morning feeling that way. I'd still have the whole day yet. But I guess I'm still ok with 2:00. It feels nice. So, I'm back up at school working at the Help Desk again. It's been a good week so far. I've been working hard and not getting much recognition for it. That's pretty normal. At least I enjoy my job though. I fixed a lot of computers this week. I think only one of them couldn't be fixed. It's a great feeling to give someone their computer back working very well when they thought it was hopeless.

The chancellor here now says hi to me every time he sees me. I think that's pretty neat. I also had some great compliments this week. The chair of the University Senate said hi and offered to back me in anything I might want to work on for the school related to gender. I also had a professor that calls in a lot stop in to the help desk and say hi. She said I look fabulous. We ended up talking for a good ten minutes. What an uplifter. I felt great that day.

As far as my crush on Audrey has gone, I've pretty much gotten past most of it. I never expected anything to happen. She's not interested in a relationship with anyone right now. The last several years she's been with someone nonstop. She basically wants time alone now. We talk all the time still. I love being friends with her. I'm content with that. Besides, I'm still not sure if I want to just stay single. I'm fairly comfortable with being alone, and I'm not so good at dating anyway.

I haven't heard much on the job situation. The only thing I did hear was that they aren't going to just fill the position temporarily. They decided to do a full out hire. So, that means applications will start to be accepted in a week or so. They want to hire someone by March. I'll be ok if it doesn't work out for me though. I have been getting offers for freelance web design. That pays pretty well. On top of that, someone asked me to run for a big office in Student Senate. So, we'll see what happens.

Aside from all that, my week's been pretty dull. Not much happening at all. I'll keep you all posted on the exciting stuff....and I guess the not so exciting stuff too. Bye.



I'll start with the "and more" part. This past week has been very relaxing for the most part. I was wrong about the sinus infection...which makes me very happy. The cold is inches away from being completely gone. That basically means that my nose runs a little bit and I cough here and there. I can live with that for now.

The pain of this week was mainly my mother. She took me and my father shopping on Monday. That was a bad idea. I was still struggling with the cold, and my dad is not a shopper. The mall was packed. I was exhausted. I'm broke, and I feel guilty allowing my parents to buy me things when they're broke too. All of these combined for a horrible experience. My mom decided she wanted to try on clothes. Normally I would be shopping and at least looking too, but I had absolutely no energy or desire. I ended up walking around the mall for a while and eventually practically falling asleep on a bench. I was so thankful to get home that night.

The next came the arguments about the potential job I could be getting at the University. My mother is saying that I shouldn't take the job. Her argument is money. She doesn't think that I'll make enough money working full time on a salaried position to survive. She apparently thinks I'm better off right now in which I already know I can't survive on less than $7 an hour working 20 hours a week at one job and $5.75 an hour working 10 hours a week on my other job. I scrape buy and have to borrow money every month it seems.

We've been arguing about this for a few days now. She doesn't seem to realize that no matter how the math gets done, even 20K a year will be a major improvement over the almost $6,500 a year I make right now. I honestly can't see where she's coming from. In my mind her argument is pure idiocy. This job is the best opportunity I could ask for. It'll pay well, it'll give me the experience I need to move towards my career goals, it's doing what I enjoy doing right now, and it's practically dangling right in front of my face. Quite honestly, there is no reason for me to not take it. My mom is driving me nuts.

On a happy note, I've started reading for fun again. I've been trying to read David and Leigh Eddings' Polgara the Sorceress for months now. I already read the Belgariad and the Mallorean series. So this is just a follow up. But still...I loved that world and the characters. So this book really makes me happy. Another happy note is that I go back up to school on Sunday. I think two weeks is too much time home for me. Next year I'll try for less time at home.

My New Years Resolutions are pretty simple. My first is that I want to end next year better than I did this year. By that, I mean I want to be happier, healthier, and have a little extra money to live off of. My second resolution is to work on my confidence level. It's definitely not all that high. I may do a lot for the trans community and the GLB community, but I don't think all that highly of myself. I need to really work on that. Lastly, I want to get myself more physically active. I spent most of this past year on my butt. I need to get out more and get more excersize. No more lazy bum for this girl.

That's about it though. Happy New Year everyone. I'll write again in the new year.



I've been reading the critic's reviews of the film version of Phantom of the Opera, which I just got home from seeing, and I have to say this: Don't listen to a word they say. I especially say that after reading the New York Times review that completely tore it apart. These film critics have no appreciation for music. The film was beautiful.

Don't get me's not perfect. I don't think many productions are perfect. However, it does a great job of telling this story. It's visually stunning. I was listening to NPR a little over a week ago to a program that was reviewing movies of the season, including Phantom, and said that the film was directed so poorly. He claimed that Joel Schumacher did nothing to make the film stand out from the stage production. That guy probably went into the film with that opinion and wouldn't open his eyes to actually see his own opinion destroyed.

To be honest, after Mr. Schumacher single handedly destroyed the Batman franchise with his direction, I haven't been a fan of his work. This movie makes up for that. I no longer think so poorly of Joel anymore. So, that's good. Anyway though, I recommend the film. It flows very nicely, and contrary to what the critics say, you do leave the theater humming the music. I'm singing it in my head right now. I give Phantom of the Opera 4 out of 5 brownies.



Hi everyone. Before the update, I have a quick poll for you.


Happy Merry Christmahanukwaanzikah. Yeah, I know you've seen that commercial. Anyway, I hope everyone had a good holiday season. My family celebrated Christmas today. It was ok. I still don't like the holiday. I bought presents, but was barely able to buy them. I had a limit of about 10 dollars. I felt my presents were lame, but my family seemed to like them. So, I guess it was a success. I can't wait until I have a real job and can afford to spoil my family.

As you can see from the poll, I'm sick again. I started to feel it just after final exams. In fact, the day after finals were over I got the sore throat that starts all my colds. I tried taking the Cold-Eeze drops that Lauren sent me to help kick the cold faster, but it hasn't really helped. In fact, I'm fairly certain I've got another infection. I must be more susceptible to sinus/nasal infections. I'm thinking about seeing a doctor this week. I might as well since the insurance deductible starts over again on the First. Better get it in before then.

The end of school went pretty well after I finally finished my papers and other miscellaneous crap. Finals were pretty easy. I ended up with a 3.58 for the semester. I think that's pretty good considering how busy I was. Despite missing two assignments in my database class, I still managed to get an A. I don't know exactly how I pulled that off. My gender class I also got an A in. Speech I got a B+, and then I got a B in Interpersonal Communication. I could have gotten an A in that class, but it was just so dull. I had no desire to try.

I dropped my resume off with the person that could be my future boss. Yes, that means I have officially applied for the open Media Specialist position. My resume looks great. My cover letter looks great. So do my references. I made one mistake...I forgot to hand sign the cover letter. I laughed about that with my dad later. I'm going to do a follow up this week and call the person to see if I can get an interview. Hopefully I wont be incredibly nasal and sick still.

I'm excited about the newspaper stuff lately. The article that was published about me last year that took up the entire back page of the school paper....yeah, it won first place in the state newspaper association awards. That's awesome. I'm so proud of Allison (the author). I also made the news again after the whole board of regents meeting I did a few weeks ago. They quoted me extensively. I thought that was cool too.

Let's see...for Christmas I got Spiderman 2, a new pretty watch, earrings, and a whole bunch of clothing. I'm not complaining about any of it, nor will I exchange any of it. I helped pick out most of the clothes. I didn't expect the watch. It's a Relic watch and has an irridescent face. I love it. I feel so spoiled. My parents can't afford to buy all us kids presents. I'm grateful though. I needed what I got. God knows I have no money to get clothing.

Anyway, I should get to bed. I need to rest so I can get better. Oh, one last thing...I'd have to say the thing I hate the most about having a cold is the sinus infection that follows. Ok, good night everyone.



Bench Warmer

Wonder why its called that...

this bench is warm my foot.

I've been sitting here for years and

it's never gotten warm.

I talked to the coach,

but she just ignored me.

kinda like the rest of the team.

The other girls laugh at me when I'm gone.

I know they must because

they smirk when they look at me.

It's not a nice smirk either, no ma'am.

It's the kind that makes you feel like

you're not welcome.

It's because I haven't gotten to play yet

I'm sure of it. I just need a chance...

a chance to prove myself.

I can play, I really can.

Once they see that, then...THEN

I'll be a real member of the team.

I just need that one chance.


Please put me in.

Coach? Coach?