Posted on May 26th 2010, 4:35 am
I'm sorry, world! I've been lazy for two months with my blog. I guess I can sit here and make excuses like working on the weekends, youth group stuff, seeing someone, fencing stuff, a new camera...but we all know they'd just that...excuses. So, I apologize. What's that you say? I said some things in that list that are surprising? And what else?...you want to know about them? Well tough...I'm not talking.
OK I lied. I am talking. We'll start with the juicy stuff...fencing! What? You thought I was going to talk about something else first? Too bad. So yeah, I've been fencing a lot. It's been way fun. I've learned that I'm not defending my left leg well enough. I have had several nasty bruises three over the past several months. One of them was pretty large...about the diameter of a soda can. The worst part was because I had already been "killed". I didn't call the hit fast enough and because of that I got hit again. Anyway, it took a few weeks to heal. It's awesome though. I consider the bruises a badge of honor. There's something about the pain from a sport like fencing that I think a lot of us like to own.
I'm getting more and more confident with my skills. My instructors aren't taking it easy on me anymore. They've been making it quite clear to me that I have a bit of natural talent. I was told a few Wednesdays back that they've rarely seen such "clean kills" as what I was throwing. It was by the book (Capo Ferro) apparently. I was doing things like playing with measure (basically the range of someone's full extended lunge and blade) and getting inside without being noticed by my opponent. I was also taking my opponent's blade off line (on line is an angle that would kill you) and sliding right down their sword to kill them. I didn't even realize that I was doing these things when they were happening. So I guess that's a sign of good training. When my instructor told me that, I was pretty giddy. It's neat to hear I'm doing well. Fencing is a lot of fun.
In other news, I worked a lot of extra weekend days over the past couple months. It was a bit stressful due to the shortened weekends, but the benefits ended up being fantastic. I'd been dreaming of getting a new camera for a long while. I'm sure there are mentions of it in my blog posts past. Now, however, it is a true reality. As of the first days of May, I bought a brand new Canon Rebel T2i. It's a flippin' awesome camera. It's a Digital SLR (Single Lens Reflux), and shoots at 18 megapixels. It not only does still photos, but it also shoots very nice full 1080p HD video. I can do anything from standard def all the way up to the top of the broadcast HD range. It's pretty cool.
So I've had it almost a full month now, and it's been worth it so far. I've already shot about 400 images with it. Chris and I went to the zoo and snapped some fun photos. I've also started taking it with me wherever I go. So, I've been able to get some interesting shots that I normally wouldn't. For example, I went to a garden and pond shop with Dr. Chris, my friend and Dentist. It had just rained, and they had bloomed water lillies there. I took some beautiful pics of them. They'll be posted after the blog post to enjoy.
I've got a nice wish list of accessories I'm going to be getting eventually as well. For example, I'll be getting a new flash, a camera frame, battery grip, extra batteries, and an inflatable diffuser. I've also dropped some hefty cash for a nice lens. It's a Tamron 18 mm - 270 mm, which is a rather large range for a telephoto lens. It's been very worth the money so far. I've always been told by my pro video / photo friends to never skimp on the glass. So I didn't.
OK...so you're probably wondering about the "seeing someone" I mentioned earlier, right. Well...I'll tell you about it then. But FIRST, you totally want to hear about my amazing ability to drink copious amounts of coffee through a straw...standing on my HEAD! Ok, fine, that's a lie. I guess I'll tell you about only the most amazing person I've ever met.
Her name is Jessica [redacted]....Dr. Jessica [redacted] (yes I know you haven't defended your dissertation yet, hun). Everyone asks if it's awkward with having the same name, but it really hasn't been. We know who we're talking to. It's everyone else that has trouble. Anyway, she's pretty amazing. She's beautiful, smart, sexy, nerdy, and a huge dork....all of the perfect qualities I've been looking for. She reads comic books, plays video games, and yeah...I'm so in love.
We met online. Yahoo Personals...what is it with that site and me finding great matches there. We hit it off from the get go really. The hard part is that it's long distance. I have a long history with long distance relationships, and this is the longest one I've been in yet. She lives presently in Arkansas, but she will be moving to upstate New York for her new job in the fall. So, it's not just a quick hour drive to see each other. It's been tough, but we've managed so far, and quite well actually.
Jess came up here to Chippewa Falls to visit about a week and a half ago. She was here for about 9 days, and I think it's easy to say that it was probably the best 9 days I've had since...maybe since my transition. It was pure bliss the entire time. It felt like I found my other half. And then just as quickly as she arrived, it was time for her to leave. That was unbelievably hard to say goodbye to her. She is currently teaching a summer course, and she had to be back to start. The good news is that she'll be back in about a month for a longer period of time. The bad news is it feels like a part of me is missing now. It's been difficult for both of us. We have only gone one or two days since without video chatting.
Jess is actually a year younger than me, and she already has her doctorate. It's really made me rethink a lot of things. I actually find myself wanting to better myself because of her. She did get to see me give a lecture in a class while she was here, and she told me that it was awesome and that I'm an amazing speaker. That is incredibly uplifting since I've felt like I've gotten a bit stale at it lately. I find myself wondering what I want to do next with my life though. I'm really finding myself at a crossroads. I'm jut not sure.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job, and I'm not about to drop everything for something new. However, I've always felt I can do more. I feel like I have a bunch of untapped skill that I'm really not utilizing. One of the possibilities in the future depending on several things is that I may end up moving. If Jess' job becomes tenure track, I'd probably pick up and move up to New York in a year or so. If that's the case, what do I make a career out of there?
I've not really mentioned this before except for a few close friends, but I've gone back and forth over...not really disappearing out of the trans community, but more of not making it be so much of a focus in my life. I mean really, I haven't made it a huge focus as is, but I've always had goals to do more. I've debated whether my voice is even valuable with all the new voices out there. I've had many people say otherwise, that my voice is important. I've also witnessed other friends in the trans community move on. So, it's been on my mind.
I think what I'm realizing now is that maybe instead of thinking about moving on, I should hit it head on. Maybe I should find a talent agent, get a book deal, and just become a professional blogger and speaker. I could perhaps start up a non-profit like I've talked about in the past as well. I know I've talked about writing my book several times. Jess thinks I should and that it'd be really valuable. There are a lot of options, and the good news is that I don't have to make any quick decisions. Still, I'd love to get opinions if people have them to share. I could use the help.
So yeah, Jessica has really made me think a lot about things. I've never had someone have that kind of impact on me before. She is truly amazing. Isn't it funny that my last post in March I was sad about not being able to find someone and not even a week after I wrote that post, Jessica appeared in my life. Chris told me that it was like night and day. I was really down and then I was happier than he'd seen me in a very long time. I should really stop bragging though.
I have been very distracted though. I have been so busy with stuff like the youth group I volunteer for, the community center that I've been actively involved in, Pridefest stuff, and just trying to have a bit of time to relax. I have barely been able to keep up. Some things have fallen behind. I haven't had a free moment to touch the Pridefest video. It's ready for me to cut, but I just haven't been able to organize the time. Obviously my blog writing time took a hit too. Even my Memorial Day weekend is busy. I'm going to be in the Twin Cities shooting a wedding. In a week or so I have some freelance video work. I think my schedule slows down after mid June. I can't wait. Maybe I'll have time to enjoy the summer weather then. We'll see.
I think this is a good place to leave it for now though. The question of the blog: If you were in my shoes, what do you think my best options for the future are?
I hope all is well with you and that you're having a wonderful Spring. Oh, and I apologize if I induced any vomiting from my excessive gushing regarding my girlfriend. :P
Posted on March 28th 2010, 6:40 pm
Holy crap, it's been a month! Why didn't someone tell me?!! It's been a busy time, that's for sure. I've actually been enjoying it, though it's nice to get time to de-stress once in a while. I haven't had much of that lately, and most likely things will remain busy for a few months. I'm thinking after June actually. I can't complain though. Things have been pretty good lately. I'd like to eventually get on a weekly blogging schedule though. It'd be easier in the long run.
Ah the title of the post...Straight women are the bane of my most recent existence. I've been actively seeking out love lately, and things have been a bit rough going. About two and a half weeks ago, I went to hang out with a friend of mine for the first time. We went to a nearby restaurant and had this adorable waitress. For some reason, I actually had the courage to flirt with her. I was giving her eyes and a lot of attention every time she came by. Oddly, she seemed to be returning it. Then, I made mention in passing about my fencing, and she got really interested and started asking questions. I answered what I could, and then I told her it was free. I started explaining when practices are, but explained that there were some disruptions coming up. So I asked if I could just call her with info...which got me her number. When she gave it to me, she said I could call her with info. I then laid it on thick and was like..."Can I call you anyway?" to which she responded very distinctly and with a smile "Yes". There were plenty of clear messages going back and forth, or so it seemed to me and my friend.
I called her a few days later, and I got her voice mail. I left a message that was cutesy saying who I was and if we'd like to talk fencing or...other stuff...as I put it. She called back and left a message that said she was interested in both. Again...to me clear messages going back and forth... The next night I called her, and her boyfriend answered the phone. I then got to talk to her, and it was a pleasant conversation. She explained a bit about herself and I myself, and it became very clear very quickly that she had no clue that I was flirting with her at the restaurant. She just thought I was a cool girl that was all about making new friends. So...I just let her think that. It was pretty disappointing for me, not going to lie. I believe it was that night that I posted on twitter "My new motto is 'Expect Disappointment and you'll never be disappointed'. As pessimistic as that may be, it surely seems true. At least I made a new friend, right?
Enter part two... I'm on okcupid, and I have been chatting it up with this girl. We're connecting. Our conversations are stimulating. I'm really liking her and I'm thinking she likes me. I have noticed her profile says straight, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. There's a whole slew of reasons why someone might post their profile as straight while being not straight. I assume nothing. Well...I decided to ask just to be sure, and sure enough...she's straight. She's just looking for friends. That's cool...again, just disappointing. We've actually become fast friends and are chatting a lot. So good has come out of it, but doesn't change the fact that it was hard to hear that another person I'm attracted to isn't interested. Twice in one week.
So yeah...straight girls...
A lot of things have impacted my emotional state lately. The straight girl situation is one of them. All in all though, my desires to find someone have pushed forward, and now I'm just starting to feel incredibly lonely. I have great friends, but I have no one I can cuddle up next to. I've been dealing with some highs and lows lately because of it. I'll get through it, but it's been a bit rough lately.
Like I said, I'm on OkCupid now, and at first my expectations were good. I thought with it being free, there'd be a lot more people on there. Unfortunately, the actuality has been a bit disappointing. I've had some responses here and there, but what's happened is the women I'm attracted to aren't responding back to me, the people I don't want to talk to are contacting me a lot, and I've also had the aforementioned straight girl situation. So the reality is that it hasn't really improved my outlook.
I have had lots of luck in the past with Yahoo Personals. So this morning, I signed up for a month. I will see how that goes. There's also the possibility of www.plentyoffish.com, which has been recommended by several people. So we'll see. I usually hate that phrase though. My mother always said that to me after a breakup. I don't get fishing analogies.
The upside to okcupid and the straight girl scenario is that I've made a new friend or two. I've also randomly come across some really cool people that have now become fast friends with me. What's that old phrase...if you can't beat em? Assimilate them? Shit...I don't think that's right. Oh well. Anyway, it's nice to have people to hang out with though. It feels like I'm really settling into this area, which is cool. I hope this trend continues. In fact, I'm considering having a grand party with all of my friends this summer. I think it'll be a blast. I'll probably announce it on here when it's going to happen. So watch for it.
I did my taxes finally. I thought that this year was going to suck as far as taxes are concerned. After all the freelance, the unemployment, and the lack of business purchases to offset costs, I thought I'd be paying in the thousands. I was pleasantly shocked to see that it was not the case. I ended up fairing quite well after all the expenses I had. The only big one was the laptop I bought for editing and web work. It ended up making the biggest difference. In the end, I made out with a net positive. So, with that, one of my new years resolutions is on the brink of coming true. I will be paying off all my furniture debt this coming week. I'm looking forward to it. One less bill a month.
In other good news, one of my long standing goals is about to come true. I'm going to buy a shiny new camera. I've wanted something to shoot high quality video with. With the advent of the latest Canon cameras being able to do really nice still photos as well as full 1080p high definition video, it's a great option for me. I've been working extra at work, which is brining in some extra money. Along with a few other financial improvements of late, I actually am in a great position to buy this camera, and perfect timing too. I have a wedding for a family member to shoot in a month or so, and I want a secondary camera to shoot stuff at Pridefest with. So this will serve so many uses. I'm going to be selling my original camera, and I've already got a buyer. So, it's going to be awesome. I'll be sure to post stuff on here for all to see.
Speaking in Audrey's class
I got the opportunity to speak in my favorite professor's class again recently. If you recall in a previous post, I didn't think it went as well the last time I did this. So I was a bit more nervous about this presentation. I changed up the format again. Audrey (the professor) always asks her students to look at my website and come up with questions to ask me prior to my visit. I get access to those questions. What I decided to do was actually structure the discussion around the questions asked. It actually worked quite well. This was perhaps the best presentation I've ever given. I think the response was fantastic! I had a lot of fun.
There were a couple of students that wrote very religious comments that I decided to just skip over. I do not feel that I need to or should read comments that are hurtful and prejudiced, despite the perhaps good intentions they were written with. Religious intolerance is probably the biggest issue that affects the LGBT community, and because of that, I didn't hold back as far as that part of my story is concerned. I talked about how I do not identify as Christian anymore. I told the story of the pastor basically kicking me out of the church and God's people turning their back on me. I explained that I never felt that God hated me, made a mistake with me, or ever did anything other than love me. Hopefully those words didn't fall on deaf ears.
Chris and my good friend, Chris (yes, I know that's confusing), is also our dentist. I haven't gone in about a year or more. It was time. So I made an appointment and went in. I knew something was wrong and that I most likely had a cavity. As it happens, I had three...maybe even four. I had no idea. I've mentioned in the past that I have a high pain tolerance. When I was shown which teeth had problems, I was surprised. I felt no pain or discomfort.
So this past week, I went in to get half of them taken care of. Apparently they only do one half of the mouth at a time. Personally, I'd rather just get them all done at once, but I wasn't given that choice. I doubt they had that much time open anyway. I have to say...the dental hygienist / assistant to the dentist was quite attractive. She's, of course, quite straight, but attractive nonetheless. In a few weeks I get the rest taken care of. Then I can move on to making an appointment with my eye doctor. Hooray!
The youth group has been a lot of fun so far. I feel a lot more confident now than when I was a mentor the first time. Maybe it's because I've matured a lot since then. I think it helps that I'm past all the transition stuff. Anyway, I've really enjoyed working with the kids. I think this group will soak up a lot of my energies in the future, which is good. It doesn't feel draining in the slightest. Maybe that says a lot about what I should be devoting my time to in life.
Question of the blog
What is your most disappointing story when it comes to finding love?
Posted on February 26th 2010, 4:54 am
That's right folks, I am now 29 for the first time. I will continue to turn 29 every year for the rest of my life. I plan to stay young. All I need to do is every year, just get Superman to fly backwards around the earth fast enough to reverse time. Never mind that I'd have to re-live that year for eternity. It's a good plan. I just need to find Superman and convince him its a good idea. I should be able to talk him into it based upon my interactions with my roommate. They're both boy scouts. Wish me luck. Hehe.
It was a good birthday. My parents, my younger sister, and my brother in law traveled up to visit over this past weekend. We went out to eat at Manny's Mexican Seafood place. I got to wear a big, pink sombrero and enjoyed a free fried ice cream. Afterwards, enjoyed a relaxing night in front of the fire and then hung out in the hot tub at their hotel. Let me say, that's a new level of uncomfortably awkward...swim suit in front of family members, including the sister that's not quite comfortable with my transition. It went pretty well though. I decided to wear the one piece to avoid totally freaking out my sister.
On Saturday, we had gone to the Leinenkugels Brewery. My sister had wanted a tour and to do some tasting. While there, we were looking through their gift shop, and I came across a selection of pancake mixes. I decided to invite my family over for breakfast on Sunday, despite breakfast being offered at the hotel. It was great! I finally got to serve my family at my dining room table. We made both blueberry and apple spice pancakes. They were delicious, especially the apple spice. I think more than any gift, having my family up to visit and being able to make breakfast and enjoy it with them was the best thing I could have gotten.
After breakfast, my family headed for home. I took a nice nap on the couch, and then afterwards went down the street to another birthday celebration for a good friend of mine, Laurentia. She's professor at the University of Wisconsin - Stout. My friend Lyle made an incredible french onion soup for all of us. It was drenched in gooey cheese and was so full of flavor. The stuff is like Lembas bread, one small bowl was enough to fill a grown man's stomach. I really enjoyed my weekend. It was a lot of fun spending time with friends.
My week has been nice too. I took Monday and Tuesday off of work in order to work on personal projects. My friend Addison came up from Madison in order to get things moving on Genderverse.org. If you head over to visit it at some point, you'll see that we've made a lot of progress. We're not quite ready to launch the site yet, but we're almost there. I'd say by the start of next week we'll be ready. I'm excited to finally see us get to the point of being able to use the site. Now the intimidating part of creating content approaches. It'll be a challenge, but it'll be good. I recently realized that it's been 8 years now since my initial research, and I really need to get back into the swing of things there. Research time will be a great experience.
This week has been saturated with Super Heroes like a sumo wrestler's daiper after a big match. I've been reading the giant pile of comics I have sitting on my floor trying to catch up. On top of that, I received the first season of Justice League Unlimited from Netflix. It's been fun so far. I have to say, reading a year's worth of Wonder Woman comics is really enjoyable. You get the whole story in a nice block. I've now caught up with those as well as the new Batgirl series. I just began reading the Blackest Night series from issue 1. Justice League Unlimited is a lot of fun too. I really can't get enough.
Speaking of super heroes. For my birthday, Chris got me a coffee table book called "DC Comics Covergirls". Let me tell ya...*growl*...thems some sexy ladies in there. Chris certainly knows my taste. I've enjoyed paging through it so far...for the articles of course. Yes I know...they're not real. Stop destroying my dreams!
Continuing with the super hero theme, remember me talking about picking up metal working as a hobby a few months back? Well, I'm finally making some headway there. I finally bought a set of hammers. I still need a few things before I can truly get started, but those were important. I need to get a small anvil like object yet as well as some practice materials. It's looking to be fun though.
Also on the hobby front, I finally went to fencing last week. It's the first time I went to fencing in like...8 months I think. I had said before that I wasn't sure that I'd go to fencing again, but I'm glad I did. The guys in the group assessed my skill level and told me that I know my stuff. They had me put on my gear and play. I haven't gotten to free fight in a long time. I don't think I've actually gotten to at all come to think of it...not in the style I fight now. I had plenty of bouts with the olympic style sabre fencing I learned on, but that was probably 8 years ago. So it's been a long time.
This experience was really uplifting and an incredible amount of fun. I no longer feel discouraged. In fact, they told me that if I wanted to, I could teach the basics to my roommates. I was told I knew my stuff well enough to teach others! How cool is that?!! I'm definitely going back. I've since purchased breast protection and neck protection. I'm just waiting for the shipment to arrive. Yay physical activity!
Completely switching gears...I'm finally starting to feel sick of being single again. It's taken a year and a half almost. I think I'm ready to start looking again. I think that's a good sign. Chris and I are likely heading to the twin cities this weekend, and who knows what may happen. Most likely I'll see many a cute lady, but will be too shy to say anything. I guess I'll have to get out of my comfort zone and stop being so shy. Wish me luck.
A quick last note before I sign off, I recently walked into a tattoo shop to see how much they cost. I'm considering getting a tattoo of the Wonder Woman symbol with rainbow banners on my right wrist. I've thought about a tattoo before, but I think I'm more serious about it now. I'm not sure just yet when I'll get it done, but I think I want to.
Lastly...everyone's favorite...the question of the blog: Do you have or have you thought about getting a tattoo? What is it of?
Posted on February 12th 2010, 6:11 am
I bought a Nerf gun. I'm such a nerd, but I still think Nerf guns are way fun. I'd never own a real gun, but for some reason, firing off little foam darts out of a plastic toy shaped like a storm trooper blaster is just a joy. I think everyone loves Nerf toys. Seriously...I think it's a universal thing. Anyway, I'm sure I've been really annoying to my roommates as I run around the house shooting them in the butt with it. I have grandiose plans of having a nerf gun war this summer. How cool would that be?!!
Things have been pretty decent lately. It took me a few weeks, but I finally got better from my cold / infections. It's nice to be able to breathe clearly all the time. No major worries about my car or money. In fact, I've even had a lazy weekend recently. Those are uncommon at best.
The most exciting thing that happened since my last post was my mother's 60th Birthday. I drove home, and thankfully, this time it wasn't a nightmarish drive through a blizzard. That was nice. Anyway, my Mother didn't know I was heading down until a day or two beforehand. So it was a nice surprise. We all chipped in to make it a really nice birthday for her and my dad (He has a birthday a week afterwards). We got her a Kitchenaid mixer. She's been wanting one for a while, and my sister got a great deal on one. So we all chipped in. I also gave my mom my old laptop. We were all surprised at how excited she was to get it! She was thrilled. She never spends time on the computer, and now she can whenever she wants to. I was happy to pass that on to her.
My Dad has been coveting a new monitor for his computer for quite a while. Since we couldn't quote afford the one he wanted so much, we gave him about 100 bucks towards the monitor of his choice. He's since bought a 28 inch flat panel and loves it. We also passed on some used surround sound speakers. So he's all set for watching Hulu now. He loves it. It was a good visit home.
The following weekend was my lazy weekend. Saturday night, Chris came home at like...11:00 and asked me to go to the bar with him and his friend, Dave. So on a whim, I got all dolled up and went out. We met a very cool guy named Andre. Andre is a New York City Fashion designer and architect. He had recently returned from Sweden after designing and building a room in the famed Ice Hotel. He was in Eau Claire visiting some friends and had also attended a party in his honor earlier in the day that Chris had also attended. Andre seemed to really appreciate our conversation because we apparently had interesting things to say. At the end of the night, Andre gave both Chris and myself his card and gave us hugs. Several people noted that they didn't get hugs, but we did. Apparently Andre thought we were cool. I've since friended him on Facebook, and Chris has been conversing with him regularly. It was a good time. Otherwise, no hottie girls hitting on me or anything...what else is new.
This weekend should be interesting. I'm going to Ruby Camp to learn how to develop websites using a technology called Ruby on Rails. Ruby is a programming language, and Rails is a platform in which developing is made faster. I'm anxious to dig in. I've spent time with it in the past, but never enough to actually build anything exciting.
Thursday is my first 29th birthday. hehe. Seriously, I'm not a person that worries about turning 30. Of course I say that now being that it's a year away, but I really think my 30s will be great. My parents are coming to visit to celebrate. Otherwise, I'm not really going to do much. Birthdays have never been a huge thing for me. I mainly look forward to the time off.
I'm planning on taking the 22nd and 23rd off just so I can enjoy a couple days. My friend Addison has offered to come up on the 22nd so we can get Genderverse online. I think it'll be nice to have a personal work day to get that project live. Then we can actually use it as a platform. Then the 23rd will be a sleep in day.
Speaking of projects, I've had lots of ideas floating around for my super hero story. I really need to get some of these projects and ideas moving instead of just floating around in the ether. Maybe once Genderverse is up, I can put some energy into writing. That'd be nice.
My life schedule is picking up though. So we'll see. My plan is to start going to fencing every Wednesday now. I'm also about to start being an LGBT youth mentor again. We have our open house on the evening of my birthday. It should be good. I'll be bringing some video games to draw in the kids. I'm looking forward to being a mentor again.
I sat down tonight with Quay, who is organizing the youth group at the community center, and we had a great talk. She shared some stories about being in the old youth group when I was mentoring before. She told me that a lot of people were sad when I left for Milwaukee back in '06. The group didn't last long after I left I guess. I feel a little bad about that, but at the same time, I needed the experiences I had in Milwaukee. They really helped me grow and understand what I want better. Still, it's heartwarming to hear that I mattered and made a difference in those kids lives.
I mentioned in my last post that I have had something on my mind lately, and that's still the case. I've actually written out all of my thoughts already, but I haven't posted it. I think it needs a few revisits and rewrites before I get it out to the world, but it'll definitely get posted soon. It's very personal and introspective, and I'm sure it'll help me to get it out.
On a parting note, I've given thought to doing some video blogging again sometime soon. I've had a lot of fun, creative ideas on how to approach it. I don't want to do it exactly like I was doing the experimental podcasts from a year ago, but I do want to have some fun with it. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.
That's it for me this time. Here's the question of the blog this time: Do you still play with Nerf toys? If not Nerf toys, are there any goofy, childish things that still put a smile on your face?
Posted on January 12th 2010, 4:32 am
I can easily say that so far, this new year / decade has not started well. Hopefully it's not like the whole "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" scenario. It started with me getting sick with a head cold right on New Years Day. How wonderful...
I hate being sick. It doesn't happen often, but for some reason I've been sick twice in the past 6 months. This one was worse than the last. It didn't seem that way at first, but after five days of blowing my nose raw it was pretty obvious. Then suddenly I stopped getting better, and the awesomeness coming out of my nose turned neon yellow. So on Saturday, I went to Urgent Care to get my sinus infection diagnosed.
While I was there, the doctor informed me that my left ear had wax buildup. That's the same ear that had blockage problems last year. So, on Sunday, I decided to try the ear wax removal drops I have and see what happens. I figured I could take care of it. Instead, the drops got stuck in my ear. I couldn't get them out. I tried just about everything from a q-tip to jumping up and down to a blow drier to sleeping on my ear to let it drain out. Nothing worked. So all night and all day I had a blocked left ear that was kind of annoying.
So that meant today I got to go back to the doctor. How fun! This time they flushed my ear and got the offending wax out. Finally the water drained! My god what a relief. I was then informed that I had an ear infection to go along with my sinus infection. That's wonderful. I don't know if I've ever had an ear infection before.
What I found odd...my doc told me that most people complain of a big ear ache along with an ear infection like mine. I didn't really notice. It was a little uncomfortable and the whole being deaf in one ear was annoying. Otherwise, I guess I never noticed. Makes me wonder how high my pain tolerance is. I know I don't get headaches often and I only keep tylenol in my cabinet because someone might need it at some point. I must be weird...
So yeah, things are getting better. I should be finally breathing easy again by the end of this week. I'm sick of blowing my nose, and I'm sure my roommates and coworkers are sick of hearing it. I'm excited though...today was the first time in a while that I've felt truly hungry. So I made myself a big dinner, and it was fantastic!
Let's see...let's go backward. New Years Eve was fun. Chris and I went to our friend's Sarah and Kit's house. It was a great time. We played Pit and enjoyed everyone's company. There was good food and a lot of laughs.
Christmas isn't what it once was for my family. We didn't do the gifts thing this year. No one could really afford it. So it was really just food and family. Don't get me wrong, that's great. It's just doesn't feel like it did when I was a kid. Plus, we do everything on Christmas Eve now since my siblings have families. I'm really the only one staying over at my parents' house now. I miss that feeling of wonder and excitement of childhood Christmases. All things change I guess.
I did end up spending money on myself though. I bought an electric blanket. My parents had one on my bed when I was at home, and I just loved it. I haven't regretted buying it at all so far. In fact, I'm sitting under it right now.
My family went to see Avatar, which...awesome! If you haven't, go see it, and go see it in digital 3D. I have already gone to see it twice. I may see it a third time before it leaves theaters. Such a cool film.
I can't forget to mention this. Right after Christmas, a great friend of both mine and Chris came to visit all the way from San Francisco, California. Her name is Lisa. She went to college with both Chris and I, and she's the coolest hippie I know. We spent the Monday night after Christmas hanging out, catching up, sharing good food, and loving every minute of it. She is a friend I hope I stay in contact with for the rest of my life. We have such a great connection.
Lisa, Chris, and I are such kindred spirits. There are so few people that I can talk so deeply with about things that are so personal and sacred. I trust them with anything. Lisa, Chris, and I talked about something that I've felt for a long time. It's this feeling...no...longing to go home. By home, I mean back to where our souls come from. This world is so mundane, so harsh, so hurtful...yet we're here...trapped in these fleshy shells with such limited perceptions of time and space. I know a big part of me yearns to be released from my entrapment, but I know I still have things I have yet to do here. I may not know what those things are, but...I just know. Both Chris and Lisa share that feeling, and it's nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling what I feel. I think that is a wonderful thing to share. I am so grateful to know both of them.
Let's see...since I haven't written since Thanksgiving really, none of my readers know of the crap I had to deal with in December. The big one was that my car's fuel pump finally died. All of my plans for a new laptop went out the window. I had to put my moneys toward a shiny new pump to make my car run again. $700 dollars later and I got just that. My car has been running beautifully ever since.
Out of that fiasco and disappointment, I did some thinking and really decided that I really did need a new laptop. I finally decided to sell my iMac. I figured it was the only way to get the laptop that I really needed. So I went about doing that and success! I was able to sell it. I realized also that I had some software licenses on it that were also worth money that I could sell separately. I ended up coming out quite well in the deal. I got myself a shiny new fiery red Sony Vaio laptop with some nice fixins on the inside. It's been serving me well for a couple weeks new, and I am quite happy with it. That was really my Christmas gift to myself.
So, that means...I can actually do some of the things I've been holding off on. Unfortunately due to my getting sick for so long, I've had no energy to do any of it over the duration of my time with this laptop. So, as this week progresses, I'm guessing more will get done. I'm feeling my energy come back with each day. I've been doing theming research for drupal. So genderverse should be set within a week. Mark my words!
I have another major post I plan on writing in the next couple days too. I have had something on my mind that I feel I really need to share. So stay tuned for that. In the meantime...I'm sore from my terrible night's sleep last night. I'm still recovering from my infections, and I'm tired. So...yes I know it's only 10:30pm, but I'm going to bed. Sweet dreams all!
Question of the blog: Do you ever feel like I feel about this world and experience?