Blog

Tonight was yet another good night. I had a "listening party" with a girl from my music theory class. We were intending on studying since she's a little behind in class. However, she and I ended up talking for hours. She had no idea I was trans, but had learned the other day from me that my name had changed at one point. She asked then why, but I told her I'd tell her at the party. So, that's what happened. She couldn't wait much longer before asking me about my name.

So I told her, and she was surprised and shocked....in a good way. She was totally not expecting that. She didn't even realize how much of a compliment it was. So we talked for a couple hours. Then we went to a local place to see a band play. It was one of the cooler bands I've ever seen. I thought it was awesome. I actually danced. That's amazing. The group was called "Madison Greene" and they had a very cool style. I'd watch them again.

After the band and everything, she and I hung for a while and talked a little more. I knew she was straight before I got to know her though. No surprises there. She's a really cool person and I hope becomes a great or even best friend. I couldn't be happier if she did. OK, well after all that excitement, I need some sleep. G'night all.

Luv,

Jessica

Wednesday was a really great day. I went to my first class, and learned that my professor basically goes over all the reading in class thus removing the need to read as much. After class there was a big campus organizations bash on the campus mall. I decided to find the LGBT booth and say hi. Well, I ended up spending two hours there. It was a grand ol' time. I met a lot of people and got a lot of hugs. Everyone there was giving me compliments stuff too. It felt so good to be loved instead of feared.

I was also happy to be introduced to several lesbian girls. That was nice. I need more of those in my life. Hehe. Yeah, anyway, the anime appreciation booth was a couple tables down. So I spent a lot of time switching between both groups. I'm a big fan of both. I made a lot of friends. I think I'll actually go to meetings now. That's something I've had no desire to do for quite some time now. So yeah, good times.

Later, I got to go to my campus job. That wasn't so bad either. I got to see a lot of old friends, and have a good time. The free food was good too. After the open house was over, I got to do my homework on the job. My brain was a bit tired cause the day was so energetic, I was worn out. I had trouble focusing on my work, but I think it was worth it. I'm so happy to be back at school. The homework doesn't bother me. However, if I don't get to bed now, I'm going to pass out tomorrow at some point. So, with that, good night.

Luv,

Jessica

I've used that pun one too many times today. Anyway, I had a good day. I finished classes and decided to visit the local electrolysis place I found online. I stopped in and they were all happy to meet me. They did a free consultation on me right then. It was something that would have taken 30 to 45 minutes normally, but they liked me so much, I was there two hours. I got to experience all of the different types of treatments. Some of them were very painful. In fact, I'd put it at about how painful laser would be without pain killers. That's pretty painful. But, not all of the methods were as bad. In fact, they were very tolerable. I could handle it no problem.

They were great too. I got a lot of compliments. They told me that they weren't sure if I was a transperson or not when they met me. It wasn't until they asked me what the "hairgrowth" was from that they knew. That's a huge compliment. One of the ladies mistook me for some other girl. She may have felt like she was insulting me by that, but again, compliment. I couldn't have enjoyed it more.....ok well maybe I could if there was no pain involved, but you can't have everything.

The best part is there is a possibility I may get really good rates there. If so, I could start right away. Otherwise I may have to wait until I get a job. Hopefully that wont be too long. We will see. They said something about a "results model" too. But I'm sure I'll get more information as things progress. At this point, I'm all for it. I love being a help to anyone I can be.

OK, now I should be a help to my professor and get enough sleep so I'm not falling asleep in class this morning. Good night all.

Luv,

Jessica

Today I had developmental blues. The fact that I've now been on HRT for six months and still have not seen any breast development is very depressing. I've talked to a lot of girls on hormones too, even at earlier points with more development than me. My optimism is very quickly fading. I wear a training bra now, but it's not because I need one. The only development I had was the initial nodule formation in the first two months. Since then, I've had nipples that practically poke people in the eyes. When I went back to school, I decided I didn't want to be doing that anymore. So, that's the only reason I started wearing a bra.

I have until October to have some sort of development, otherwise my endocrinologist is going to discuss my options with me. I have a feeling I wont see any changes by then though. I already know I'm not. This issue combined with my perpetual loneliness has really gotten me down lately. I just hope in these next few weeks, something good happens.

Luv,

Jessica

This weekend has been boring. I haven't had much of anything to do. The only time I left my apartment was to go to the grocery store. I'm not the person people think of right away when they want to go with a friend to a party. In fact, I don't even think I'm on that list of people to consider. So with that, my phone hasn't made a sound since Thursday night, except for the one time my dad called me. What a thrill. I spent a lot of time chatting and then watched some Kenshin. How fulfilling.

Yes, internet, I have it now. Thanks to the student deals on campus, I was able to re-sign up and get same day installation. So here I am. No more cable and internet woes. Just boredom. But at least I have something. OK, enough with the self-depreciating talk. On with the news of the first week of school...

So, classes are great. Japanese is particularly cool. I've already gone through about 100 notecards so far. I'm sure I'll need quite a few this semester. Theory is the same as it was last year, but that's ok. I still like it. Plus there's a cute girl I sit next to. I'll get to her in a bit. I went in to check at the Computer services place I applied at last spring for a job. They asked me for an interview right away. I happily went in for that. They suggested I also turn in a resume since some of the positions require one. I've been thinking about making a resume since last year, so I started working on it. It's almost done too. It's definitely a pain in the ass to make one though. I'll be glad when it's done.

Well, so this cute girl. On the first day of class she sat two seats in front of me. She leaned past the girl inbetween us and made an obvious effort to say hi and talk to me. I thought nothing of it other than she's new to the class and is trying to make friends. The next day she sat next to me. We talked a little before class, but after class we walked through the building together talking the whole way. This is when I started thinking about her being a nice girl and attractive. Didn't think much else though aside from maybe a little bit of daydreaming. The next day was more interesting. She sat next to me again. This time, we didn't really talk much in class at all. At the end of class I wanted to see what my friends were doing, so I was going to head off with them. The cute girl and I said bye and she left. I followed my friends only to find that they were preoccupied with audition results and had no idea if I was there or not. So I decided to not be there. I walked through the building to my normal exit, and who was just about to leave...but the cute girl. We walked and talked as we headed out the door towards the parking lot which was on my way home. She was parked there. So, during our walk, we discovered we both like Japan. It was cool. When we got to the lot we sort of parted ways and said our "Have a nice weekend"s. But it turns out we were still heading the same way. She called out offering me a ride to my place. So I took her up. As we walked to her car, we discovered we have even yet more in common...we drive the same car.

During our walk and our ride, I learned that this was her first week at this school altogether. She was a transfer student from a different college. She hadn't really made any friends yet. So we kind of share a bond in that respect except for I transferred here a year and a half ago. But either way, we have a lot in common. Now I'm extremely interested, and am curious to know if she is too. Somehow I doubt she has any interest. She's probably straight. That's how it usually goes for me. Something hit me later though, when I was thinking about it afterwards. She may not know I'm trans. That makes things interesting. I'm going to have to find out in a round about way pretty soon. I don't want to make a fool out of myself. Though, it's likely to happen. I'm good at that sort of thing. I'll keep everyone posted. In the meantime, it's 2:30 in the morning. I'm going to bed. G'night.

Luv,

Jessica