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Whenever I hear that line, I think of the worms from the worms video game series. Those of you that have played the game will understand. Anyway, sorry for the long hiatus. I had just about every project I could get thrown at me at work. I haven't had much energy to do much else afterwards. So here's the lowdown.

The subject line's phrase in this case is referring to the first spiritual night my friend Lisa, her roommate and I had. We'd been planning to do it for quite some time, and it finally happened. We talked about our spiritual experiences. I read a guided meditation I wrote for the night too. It was the first meditation I've ever written out. They really liked it. I was so happy to hear that. They also did a tarot reading for me. That was the first time anyone had ever done tarot with me before. I was too afraid to touch that sort of thing when I was younger. It was neat. It really seemed to give me a little hope too. All in all, the night was fantastic. We're all in agreement that it will happen again, and frequently.

As I mentioned earlier, I've been getting all the responsibilities at the help desk, but not much reward in return. They have me re-designing our display case, creating a order of operations check list for cleaning up PCs, working on a video prototype help page, I'm re-designing a pamphlet, and I'm also supposed to work on the help desk website. That's a lot to juggle. I got a 30 cent raise. Woohoo. I almost make $7 an hour now. Can we say "underpaid"? I really put too much effort into my job.

On top of that, I am supposed to be redoing all the software on the editor at the TV studio. I have several video projects to edit, including one for this site. I've also been asked to speak in several classes. I have a freelance web design job now. And school's just about to start. Who needs a winter break, you know? Apparently not me. My boss was also about to schedule me for next semester in places that I didn't want at all. Like, for instance all of Tuesday and Thursday nights. That would have meant no volunteer work and no LGBT group. Both of those I really care about, especially the volunteer work. Thankfully, things worked out and I got the hours I wanted. I'll have all the time I need to continue volunteering. That makes me very happy.

Speaking of the volunteer work, I had to do training yesterday for it. It was all of us facilitators and the group "person-in-charge". Sorry, didn't know what else to call him. I felt so....included. Seriously, all those times that I remembered feeling like I wasn't welcome among the facilitators were gone. I felt like I was part of the team. It was refreshing.

On the big job front, I have heard very little. I've been asking around a lot too. All I know is that they have decided to officially post it instead of hiring an interim person. I've been watching to see if it gets posted or not. To be honest though, I'm not sure I want the position. With each passing day I really start to think I may just want to finish out school and be done with it. I only have a few semesters left. Also, I've pretty much been told to apply for the station manager position by my current boss. I know I have lots of opportunities open to me even as a student right now. Maybe it's better this way. In fact, I'm going to make a poll on this subject. Feel free to add your opinions on it.

OK, this is long enough. I'm going to end it here. Talk to you all soon.

Luv,

Jess

So here's a little background quick before the poll. I'm a fifth year student with three semesters left before I graduate. I'm a public communications major with a lot of relevant experience. The job in question is the Media Specialist position at the University I go to. My name has been passed around already by the former media specialist as someone capable of replacing him. I would be putting together video projects for the staff and university. I would also work with students and teach classes on how to use the media effectively.

However, I have a lot going for me at the student run TV studio. I'm currently the production manager and am in the running for station manager. Those two positions are great on a resume for any future media job too. I like the TV station too. I also have potential for advancement at the help desk with some of the projects I'm working on. There's even talk of me and a friend running for very important student senate positions next year. Financially I'll be fine because of my current jobs and the increases in pay and hours I'll get next year. Also, because I'll be 24, I'll get a lot more financial aid.

So it comes down to this: Take the job and finish off school slowly over the next few years. Stay here in my small town, but have a well paying job in the bag already that is in my field of interest. OR finish the three semesters, use my potential and experience learned in the next three semesters to land a job somewhere in a different location. However, that job is not certain. Oh and feel free to add comments if you have advice for me. Thanks for responding.

!++5++!

I love waking up at 2:00 in the afternoon feeling all rejuvinated after a long week. Actually I wish I woke up at 9:00 in the morning feeling that way. I'd still have the whole day yet. But I guess I'm still ok with 2:00. It feels nice. So, I'm back up at school working at the Help Desk again. It's been a good week so far. I've been working hard and not getting much recognition for it. That's pretty normal. At least I enjoy my job though. I fixed a lot of computers this week. I think only one of them couldn't be fixed. It's a great feeling to give someone their computer back working very well when they thought it was hopeless.

The chancellor here now says hi to me every time he sees me. I think that's pretty neat. I also had some great compliments this week. The chair of the University Senate said hi and offered to back me in anything I might want to work on for the school related to gender. I also had a professor that calls in a lot stop in to the help desk and say hi. She said I look fabulous. We ended up talking for a good ten minutes. What an uplifter. I felt great that day.

As far as my crush on Audrey has gone, I've pretty much gotten past most of it. I never expected anything to happen. She's not interested in a relationship with anyone right now. The last several years she's been with someone nonstop. She basically wants time alone now. We talk all the time still. I love being friends with her. I'm content with that. Besides, I'm still not sure if I want to just stay single. I'm fairly comfortable with being alone, and I'm not so good at dating anyway.

I haven't heard much on the job situation. The only thing I did hear was that they aren't going to just fill the position temporarily. They decided to do a full out hire. So, that means applications will start to be accepted in a week or so. They want to hire someone by March. I'll be ok if it doesn't work out for me though. I have been getting offers for freelance web design. That pays pretty well. On top of that, someone asked me to run for a big office in Student Senate. So, we'll see what happens.

Aside from all that, my week's been pretty dull. Not much happening at all. I'll keep you all posted on the exciting stuff....and I guess the not so exciting stuff too. Bye.

Luv,

Jess

I'll start with the "and more" part. This past week has been very relaxing for the most part. I was wrong about the sinus infection...which makes me very happy. The cold is inches away from being completely gone. That basically means that my nose runs a little bit and I cough here and there. I can live with that for now.

The pain of this week was mainly my mother. She took me and my father shopping on Monday. That was a bad idea. I was still struggling with the cold, and my dad is not a shopper. The mall was packed. I was exhausted. I'm broke, and I feel guilty allowing my parents to buy me things when they're broke too. All of these combined for a horrible experience. My mom decided she wanted to try on clothes. Normally I would be shopping and at least looking too, but I had absolutely no energy or desire. I ended up walking around the mall for a while and eventually practically falling asleep on a bench. I was so thankful to get home that night.

The next came the arguments about the potential job I could be getting at the University. My mother is saying that I shouldn't take the job. Her argument is money. She doesn't think that I'll make enough money working full time on a salaried position to survive. She apparently thinks I'm better off right now in which I already know I can't survive on less than $7 an hour working 20 hours a week at one job and $5.75 an hour working 10 hours a week on my other job. I scrape buy and have to borrow money every month it seems.

We've been arguing about this for a few days now. She doesn't seem to realize that no matter how the math gets done, even 20K a year will be a major improvement over the almost $6,500 a year I make right now. I honestly can't see where she's coming from. In my mind her argument is pure idiocy. This job is the best opportunity I could ask for. It'll pay well, it'll give me the experience I need to move towards my career goals, it's doing what I enjoy doing right now, and it's practically dangling right in front of my face. Quite honestly, there is no reason for me to not take it. My mom is driving me nuts.

On a happy note, I've started reading for fun again. I've been trying to read David and Leigh Eddings' Polgara the Sorceress for months now. I already read the Belgariad and the Mallorean series. So this is just a follow up. But still...I loved that world and the characters. So this book really makes me happy. Another happy note is that I go back up to school on Sunday. I think two weeks is too much time home for me. Next year I'll try for less time at home.

My New Years Resolutions are pretty simple. My first is that I want to end next year better than I did this year. By that, I mean I want to be happier, healthier, and have a little extra money to live off of. My second resolution is to work on my confidence level. It's definitely not all that high. I may do a lot for the trans community and the GLB community, but I don't think all that highly of myself. I need to really work on that. Lastly, I want to get myself more physically active. I spent most of this past year on my butt. I need to get out more and get more excersize. No more lazy bum for this girl.

That's about it though. Happy New Year everyone. I'll write again in the new year.

Love,

Jess

I've been reading the critic's reviews of the film version of Phantom of the Opera, which I just got home from seeing, and I have to say this: Don't listen to a word they say. I especially say that after reading the New York Times review that completely tore it apart. These film critics have no appreciation for music. The film was beautiful.

Don't get me wrong...it's not perfect. I don't think many productions are perfect. However, it does a great job of telling this story. It's visually stunning. I was listening to NPR a little over a week ago to a program that was reviewing movies of the season, including Phantom, and said that the film was directed so poorly. He claimed that Joel Schumacher did nothing to make the film stand out from the stage production. That guy probably went into the film with that opinion and wouldn't open his eyes to actually see his own opinion destroyed.

To be honest, after Mr. Schumacher single handedly destroyed the Batman franchise with his direction, I haven't been a fan of his work. This movie makes up for that. I no longer think so poorly of Joel anymore. So, that's good. Anyway though, I recommend the film. It flows very nicely, and contrary to what the critics say, you do leave the theater humming the music. I'm singing it in my head right now. I give Phantom of the Opera 4 out of 5 brownies.

Luv,

Jess