Posted on February 13th 2007, 6:22 am
Today was loooooong. I woke up at 7:45 am and got home at 9:30 pm. I did get to stop in at home for a short time, but it was mainly just restless. I had to shovel the driveway and take care of some paperwork. Then I left early for my night class. The class is long...four hours. So my day just dragged on. I can't say that it was a bad day though. I learned that I really enjoy my coworkers. I think I fit in really well.
Class is great because I feel like a professional. This class is just what I needed. It's teaching me all of the technical stuff that I never learned because of my self-taught history. I know what Auto-Knee does on a video camera now. I know how to set a gamma curve. I can use a vectorscope now and understand it. I used to stare at these things and wonder what they did. So it's really nice.
I'm actually ahead of the game too. I have my homework shot already, and it's not due until March. I just have to cut it, which I'll do next week. It looks great. Chris came down to be an actor in my video, and he hammed it up. It's great. That's just what I wanted. The footage is great, but the audio may be a bit peaked. That's not so good, but I may be able to fix it. We'll see.
Oddly...I'm looking forward to work tomorrow. It'll be nice to get back into it. I say this now. Take note. I'm sure in six months or so, I'll be complaining in some way. Haha. We'll see.
This weekend was interesting. Tracy and I had a good time, but she was upset about something. I asked her and she didn't really want to talk about it too much other than to say that she's been self conscious lately. She said it was probably due to her period, but I think it's more than that. Later she opened up about it. She knows that she's not my ideal when it comes to femininity. That bothers her and makes her feel self conscious.
She's right. She's not my ideal. I am very attracted to girly girls. What can I say? But that doesn't mean that I don't love her or that I'm not attracted to her in many many ways. Those other feminine girls are not Tracy. And I told her that. I hope it helped her feel better, but I still think we're hitting a rough spot. I'm sure we'll get through it, but it'll be tough for a while.
And my one last excitement before I sign off and get to bed...the North American tour dates were released for Loreena McKennitt. As soon as I got the e-mail I prepurchased tickets. I'm sooo excited. I never get to see the musicians I love in concert. Now I will. It's going to be fantastic. :) OK...now I'm off to bed. G'night.
Posted on February 11th 2007, 6:00 am
Here's my list of things that need to get done on TransLife soon:
More as ideas develop.
Posted on February 8th 2007, 6:04 am
I'm in a fantastic mood. My new job is awesome. I love my coworkers. Everyone has been so nice. I've met some really cool people so far. I like what I do too. It's a challenge, but it's a good one. I think it'll be really fulfilling. The schedule is flexible. I don't have to be exactly on time every day. That's great for me because I'm not always perfectly on schedule.
I'm also taking a Monday night class. So far so good there. I'm the only girl, and oddly...one of my classmates went to grade school with me. He has no idea who I am though. So that's interesting. I discovered that I'm very ahead of the game on a lot of things in that class. I'm just more of a leader and have made a lot of things happen that most college students don't attempt. The kids in the class seemed pretty surprised at my experience and skills...including the teacher. So that's great. I'll learn a lot of the technical stuff I didn't know. So this class will really cap things off for me at least in the technical area.
I'm pretty tired so I'll keep this short tonight. Things are looking good, and I'm happy. This is a new era for me. Onward and Upward! :D Good night all.
Posted on February 1st 2007, 7:49 pm
I just had a beautiful yet incredibly sad dream. Frequently I have dreams that I am back in high school, that I'm missing class, or that I'm in band playing music. Usually I'm missing my music, or I can't get my trombone together in time and I get yelled at. This one was different. Now frequently my gender can change in my dreams. In fact, I'm not always myself in my dreams. Sometimes I'm someone else. In this dream, I was my old self back in 1999.
High School band for me was both incredibly fulfilling, but also scary at times. My band director had a bit of a temper and if you got on his bad side... look out. So I know I did what I could to avoid the bad side. I was lead trombone my senior year in the highest band. I was actually quite good. I had considered going to school for music for a while, but ultimately went for engineering instead (which I eventually moved away from). This dream took place during my senior year.
Oddly...when my dream started, band was already in progress. I put my trombone together, got my music and sat down to play. I dug out the music we were playing, but it seemed as if I hadn't been there in months. I was treated as if everyone knew me to be the lead trombone player, and that I had been gone, but it wasn't a big deal.
When I started to play, I had no idea where we were, and didn't play where I was supposed to. The whole band stopped and looked at me. I said "Sorry...I didn't know where we were. I've got it now." They say you can't read in dreams, but perhaps music is different, because I could read the notes. I remember seeing the name of the musical piece too. It began with an S, but that's all I remember. We continued to play again, and I played my part up until a particularly difficult riff with sixteenth notes. I messed it up and the band stopped again.
My director stepped off the podium and walked across to where I was sitting. He talked to me like he was very calm about it, knew I had been gone for a while, and it was no big deal. However, we had a concert this coming weekend, and it would be good if I could practice this certain area. I'd be fine then. He then asked me the time, and I told him. He said "Oh my it's that late already huh? I guess it's time to go. See ya this weekend." And everyone started packing up.
Then something happened. His daughter, who played the trumpet, ran up to him and gave him an enormous hug on the way out. And as I watched that moment, I realized that it's not 1999...it's 2007. My band director died a couple years ago, and his daughter was saying how much she missed him. Suddenly I was no longer myself from 1999 anymore, and I was myself today...in 2007. And I realized that I miss him too. I could no longer stand in my dream for the tears came on too strong. My head was on the floor as I cried.
I woke up shortly after that. It was such a powerful dream that I didn't want to forget. So I immediately wrote it down here. I hope you enjoy reading it. Thanks.
Posted on February 1st 2007, 3:44 am
My mother and I are still fighting. In fact, it would seem that my dad has been dragged into it too. We just ate dinner and it was silent the whole way through. Great. That's fantastic. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, here's the quick catch up. Two nights ago my mother proceeded to nag me as she had every single conversation about one particular thing that she deemed to be my most important priority. I got really upset because maybe I've set my priorities differently. I basically in a very emotional state proceeded to tell her that I didn't need her to nag me about it and that I'm sick of her giving me shit every time we talk. That wasn't the smartest thing to say because it ignited a fight. So yes...I am to blame for this feud. However, that being said...I have a very legitimate argument.
Anyway, I don't feel like discussing more of this right now. Just wanted to update that it's still going on... More on this later.