Posted on February 1st 2007, 7:49 pm
I just had a beautiful yet incredibly sad dream. Frequently I have dreams that I am back in high school, that I'm missing class, or that I'm in band playing music. Usually I'm missing my music, or I can't get my trombone together in time and I get yelled at. This one was different. Now frequently my gender can change in my dreams. In fact, I'm not always myself in my dreams. Sometimes I'm someone else. In this dream, I was my old self back in 1999.
High School band for me was both incredibly fulfilling, but also scary at times. My band director had a bit of a temper and if you got on his bad side... look out. So I know I did what I could to avoid the bad side. I was lead trombone my senior year in the highest band. I was actually quite good. I had considered going to school for music for a while, but ultimately went for engineering instead (which I eventually moved away from). This dream took place during my senior year.
Oddly...when my dream started, band was already in progress. I put my trombone together, got my music and sat down to play. I dug out the music we were playing, but it seemed as if I hadn't been there in months. I was treated as if everyone knew me to be the lead trombone player, and that I had been gone, but it wasn't a big deal.
When I started to play, I had no idea where we were, and didn't play where I was supposed to. The whole band stopped and looked at me. I said "Sorry...I didn't know where we were. I've got it now." They say you can't read in dreams, but perhaps music is different, because I could read the notes. I remember seeing the name of the musical piece too. It began with an S, but that's all I remember. We continued to play again, and I played my part up until a particularly difficult riff with sixteenth notes. I messed it up and the band stopped again.
My director stepped off the podium and walked across to where I was sitting. He talked to me like he was very calm about it, knew I had been gone for a while, and it was no big deal. However, we had a concert this coming weekend, and it would be good if I could practice this certain area. I'd be fine then. He then asked me the time, and I told him. He said "Oh my it's that late already huh? I guess it's time to go. See ya this weekend." And everyone started packing up.
Then something happened. His daughter, who played the trumpet, ran up to him and gave him an enormous hug on the way out. And as I watched that moment, I realized that it's not 1999...it's 2007. My band director died a couple years ago, and his daughter was saying how much she missed him. Suddenly I was no longer myself from 1999 anymore, and I was myself today...in 2007. And I realized that I miss him too. I could no longer stand in my dream for the tears came on too strong. My head was on the floor as I cried.
I woke up shortly after that. It was such a powerful dream that I didn't want to forget. So I immediately wrote it down here. I hope you enjoy reading it. Thanks.
~Jess