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Well, last night marked the second night this week in which I've been up later than 3:00 am. Both times were with friends coming over. Last night was by far the better of the two. I did not regret being up that late by any means. I would do it again if I could, and I may. The night started at about 6:00 pm. I was home from school and cleaning up a little while I prepared for going to work that night. I wanted to get some editing done. Well, that didn't happen.

I had also wanted to go to the Humane society to look at the kitties. When my friend Emily IMed me asking me what I was doing, I said I was going to look at kitties. She got all excited and asked if she and a few others could come along. I was like, "Sure, why not". So with a full car, we headed out to look at kitties together. It was fun. I loved playing with the cute ones. There were a few mean ones though too. I guess that happens.

After that we went to the evil store (Wal-Mart) and looked around. Wasn't too exciting. We then headed to my place and spent the night watching a movie, eating good food, and having a fun time. At three in the morning, we were starting to get tired out, but all in all, I could have kept going. It was fun. I decided that if I wanted to be sane today, I had to take them home then. Tonight we're going to see the Matrix. So, I hope it's as good as some say it is, and not as bad as others claim it is. I'm trying to keep my expectations low so I can't be disappointed.

I knew last year that when I checked out my apartment, this place would be great for entertaining people. I had hoped that I would have friends over frequently, get to watch movies and just have fun. Well, my wish came true and I do have the hang out apartment. I hope it stays that way over the summer too.

Oh, by the way, I ran into Rachel today, the lesbian activist and friend on campus. I happened to ask her about a certain cute brunette that I had been noticing lately. I had wondered by the way she was looking at me and randomly saying hi even though I didn't know her name that she was interested in me. Well, Rachel told me her name and that she's on her floor in the dorms. Judging from her reaction, she's just another cute straight girl. She didn't actually say it, but I could tell. Well...there's another bubble popped. That's three so far this semester....but who's counting.

Well, I'm at work and I better get back to it. Later all.

Luv,

Jessica

So yeah, I had heard that itchy boobs means they are growing, but wasn't sure. So I asked a female friend about it tonight. She confirmed that yes, indeed, it does mean they are growing. The stretching of the skin makes it dry and causes itching, apparently. So that means my boobs are officially growing, since they've been itching like crazy. I thought so, but it's good to know for sure. That's my happy update for now. See ya.

Luv,

Jessica

All I have to say is, I can't wait till this winter break when I get my kitty. Being at home on nights like tonight, all by myself....I can't take it. I need someone here. Phone calls and messengers are nice and all, but they still leave me feeling distant. I love the nights I get to spend with people so much. I wish every night could be Tuesday night, so I could spend more time with my friends from the LGBT. I love that group so much. I tried calling my friend Gary tonight, but he wasn't around.

Aside from Gary and the LGBT, the rest of my friends really make me feel like I'm just a waste of time. Like, they'll acknowledge me when they have to, but aside from that, I feel brushed off and ignored most of the time. Just further proof that people are uncomfortable with the trans-girl. I'm so grateful for the real friends I have. Life would be pretty much unbearable without them. I don't know if they know that, but I'll have to show them in some way. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Luv,

Jess

I've recently decided that I really don't want to put all the stupid little details of what I did the past week in here. Plus, I looked at some friends blogs and saw that I'm really friggin lazy with mine. My friend Rachael here writes in hers, though not much in some of the entries, several times a day. The entries are more thought provoking than mine have been lately too. So I think I'll actually have more fun and post some interesting stuff. Though, I know I will be happier after this semester is over and the new version of the diary script is in place. These blogs will be more personal then.

So, this weekend I got to meet my friend Gary's family. They are really awesome. The one thing about them that really impresses me is that they are Catholic and yet extremely open minded and accepting. They truly believe that judgement is not their job. They also have a very liberal view on Bible interpretation just like me. Apparently their preist preaches the same principles. That amazed me. I would have never thought that would happen. I guess that's my stereotype of Catholicism kicking in. I think my best friend from school has strengthened that stereotype for me over the years.

I think the biggest thing for me this past weekend was that I for once didn't feel ashamed to believe in God like I once did. I think maybe the healing process for my faith is really moving now. Now that I know there are Christians out there that support me and my cause, I don't feel so alone anymore. Maybe someday I'll be able to believe again. I don't think it'll be the same way as I once did, but I think that's a good thing. I've matured spiritually enough to know better than simply following blindly. I think when I come out of this slump, I'll have a stronger faith than I had before. No one will get in my way.

The other cool thing about this weekend was Emily. She's a girl that goes to my school here and for a while had a thing for Gary. We're good friends now. She's so cool and comfortable around me. I know she's not a lesbian, and so does she, but that's ok. This weekend, while watching a movie with Gary's family. She and I cuddled. It was nice. I haven't experienced that in ages. I really like the new friends I've made. I think I've found some new lifelong friends. At least, I hope so. Well, I'll try to write more frequently even if it's not so in depth as this entry. Maybe later tonight then. Bye.

Luv,

Jessica

Before actually getting into the weekend, my endocrinologist appointment was last week. She took my measurements and such. My weight still hasn't changed. No surprise there. As far as my measurements in the chestolic region, I did see development. However, the development isn't very much at all. My hips grew an extra half inch as well. Because of my extremely slow development, my doc prescribed me provera now. That brings my drugs up to 4 a day. Fun Fun. So now I'm on Progesterone as well. The "PMS" Hormone. I may get really moody. I don't know yet. We will see. I haven't noticed any changes yet, but it's too early to say anything.

Halloween was fun. I wore my princess costume again. I'll be putting up some of these pictures soon. Maybe tonight even, we'll see. I went to a party on Friday night at a friends house. It wasn't like the normal college parties. We didn't drink anything but soda. There weren't a whole lot of us there, but it was more personal and fun that way. I ended up staying until around 6:00 am. We were going to go out and hand out candy to kids as they were trick or treating, but it was just too damn cold. We got to the end of the block and we were shivering. So we all turned around and went back home. Still though, it was fun.

Saturday I slept late...as usual for my weekends. I went straight to the football game. The entire marching band was freezing in the bleachers. We were roudy and had a good time to keep warm. We sounded like crap because of it too. I made some fun mistakes during the half time show too. Figures after not doing it for two weeks. Thankfully, we got to go home early. After that, I had some video work to do that night. I got to get into the Hockey game for free to shoot some footage for a promotion. It was packed and loud. The team was kicking ass too. Way different than last year. I caught some great shots on camera. They're definitely going into the promo. It was a good time. After that, I had some editing to do, and finally left at 11:30 pm. Then, I headed over to friend's house again where I stayed until 6:00 am....again. I swear I'm an idiot.

Sunday I woke up at 3:30 in the afternoon to my dad calling me with a computer problem. I troubleshot it in my half awake state, and solved the problem. After that I kinda wasted time until the meeting I had to be at, then spent a little bit of time editing after the meeting. I ordered pizza, had a different friend over and watched stupid stuff till late. I couldn't fall asleep at 2:00 when I tried to get sleep due to my stupidity at staying up late the night before. Surprisingly, I'm doing ok this morning. It's going to be a busy two days though. Actually, this whole week is busy. I think I'll make it though. Tomorrow is my next presentation. I'm no where near prepared. We'll see what I can pull together tonight and tomorrow.

Oh, one more quick thing before I go. I'm really happy about this. Friday I got a paper back in my Mass Media History class. It had my current grade for the class on it too. I kicked major ass. After my first exam at a B-, I have successfully hit a B+ overall, with an A- around the corner. I'm going to get an A if it kills me....which it better not. Anyway, back to work. I'll write soon.

Luv,

Jessica