Tonight was a blast. I hung out with my new neighbor, Betsy, and her friends. We had a cookout and just sat and talked. It was really fun bonding with three other women. I've noticed that sometimes when I'm connecting with some really amazing women, I forget that I was once physically male. We talked about things ranging from relationships to music to the summer solstice. It was really fun. I wish I could have more nights like that.

Lately I'll admit that I've been spending waaaay too much time playing video games. I recently purchased Fable: The Lost Chapters, and I've been playing it like crazy. It's got a great plot and awesome gameplay. Sooo much fun. However....soooo addicting. Both my friend Dani and I are hooked. Tomorrow she and I are getting together to play our own Single player games together. How bad is that? I'm getting close to the end though. So hopefully my addiction will wane soon.

Other than that I've been reading Riki Wilchins Queer Theory Gender Theory which is blowing my mind. I had spent a little time discussing the affects of postmodernism in my classes...but we never actually discussed what postmodernism itself is. That's what this book is about. I've since discovered that I think in a postmodern form. I've actually argued with postmodern points before, but I didn't even realize it. This book is only 170 pages long, and it's changing my perceptions of the world. It's also changing my very identity. Now that I have latched on to the concept that language is the bane of existence and is oppressive in nature, I've accepted that the words "Man", "Woman", "Masculine", and "Feminine" don't mean anything. They don't make sense anymore. There is no "Man" in society or "Woman" as we as a culture have defined it. So...is there an adequate word that exists to define myself? I don't think there is.

I've also started changing how I word things. For example...gender is not a spectrum. I used to say that it is, and that Masculine and Feminine were the ends of the spectrum with each of us falling somewhere in the middle. That's not right. Not only does it not adequately represent what gender is, it's also reinforcing the gender binary. I think gender is more of a continuum. There are no endpoints, and everyone falls somewhere in the continuum. I think I'll call it the "G" continuum. I'd call it the "Q" continuum...but that doesn't work for two reasons. 1. There is no Q in gender, and 2. Star Trek already took that idea. Yes...I know I'm a nerd.

OK...enough postmodernism for now. I've started looking into jobs and am planning on applying for a few. I'm excited, but first I have to put together a demo DVD. I'm working on that. Plus, I have to perfect my resume. That's the goal for this week yet. Hopefully I wont be too distracted with Fable. In the meantime, I've also met up with a local photographer. He's been showing me the works, and I've been showing him how to use software. It's been a nice pairing. I have a whole bunch of pictures I want to post sometime soon. So...watch for those.

Love life news...the internet girl, Jessica, and I are still talking. It's frustrating because she doesn't communicate as much as I'd like. I still don't know how much I trust her, but that's ok. If it works out, it works out...if it doesn't...it doesn't. My life is in flux now, and I'm going to be moving soon anyway. Where ever I go there will be more dating opportunities than here by a long shot. So, I'm not that concerned. Thanks to those friends that have been concerned and have listened to my frustrations. You all rock. :)

I've been to the library a lot lately. I've been on a huge comic book kick. I have checked out trade paperback and hardcover bound comics just for the fun of it. I read all of Frank Miller's Batman stuff...the stuff that inspired both the recent Batman Begins and the 1989 Tim Burton films. I've also read some X-Men, Spiderman, and Daredevil. It's been interesting and fun. I've found some favorite artists and authors. Oh, and I purchased two copies of Wonder Woman #1...the new Wonder Woman series. I haven't read it yet, but it's very pretty. Let's see...video games, computers, comic books, and anime...all I need now is to start playing Dungeons and Dragons and my journey to the ultimate nerd side will be complete. ;)

OH!! One last thing before I sign off for the night. I was called by GenderPAC this past Monday. They asked me if I'd be interested in doing an interview with Newsweek magazine. How cool is that? So I've contacted the reporter and am just waiting to hear back. We'll see what happens with that. The New York Times interview is still in the works too. Let me say that I feel like I have an agent. GenderPAC is awesome.  I'll keep you all posted on what happens. OK...I'm off. Bye for now.

Luv,
Jess