I learned something new last night. Tracy and I were together at her place watching some stuff on TV. After a while, Tracy decided she wanted to make out. I just wasn't feeling it at all. And this isn't the first time. Over the past few weeks, I've been less and less interested in kissing. I'm not sure what it means, but I'm just trying to go with it. Not much else I can do.

Anyway, last night we made out for a while. She really enjoyed it. And I smiled and made her happy. I wanted her to enjoy it, because she wanted it. She told me later she enjoyed her evening. That made me feel good about it. I made her happy, but I feel a little sad that I am finding myself not too sexually interested in her.

What I think I've learned is that I'm not interested in submissive women. I like dominant women. I want someone who's aggressive, knows what they want, and pushes to get it. Plus, I think Tracy's a bit androgynous for my tastes. I hate to say it too. She's a pretty girl. I think I enjoy even more feminine women though. I like seeing a girl in makeup that's more dramatic, and sexier clothing. Her mannerisms are very neutral too. I don't know why, but I guess that matters to me. It's not like it matters to me as far as like...me demanding it or anything. It just turns me on more. I can't really help that.

So I'm left wondering if Tracy and I really are going to last. We have perfect matches as far as personalities are concerned, but we don't match at all sexually. I guess that really just leaves friendship, which I don't want to end up as, but it may be that way. More on this later. I have to get to work.

~Jess