Posted on January 17th 2007, 8:38 am
It may seem as if I've been neglecting translife for a while, and quite honestly...I'd have to say that's true. I've been pretty solidly focused on some other things right now. For example, job hunting is probably the biggest one. My social life has also taken more of a front seat instead of a back seat. Yeah that's right friends, Jessica has been having fun for a change.
Honestly...I wish I could be moving faster, and I'm trying. I'm devoting time each week to getting this site updated. By the time you all read this, the new version will be up and running for everyone instead of just me. So um...hey ain't it cool? Doesn't it look and function nicely? I think so. Heck...I'm already using it. Why wouldn't I think it's cool. It only took me about 8 or 9 months to finally find something that would do what I needed. I'm very proud of the changes. I hope you all like them.
On another note, I feel bad. Just about every day something happens that I feel is something I'd love to add to my blog. I just forget about it by the time I get home or to my computer. Or...I am so engrossed in getting something accomplished that I set the blogging aside. I hope that changes with this update. I would love to be writing daily updates instead of monthly ones. For starters, I don't have to write books each time. It'd actually save me time in the long run.
So with that, the topic of today: As some of you may be aware, I have been on a spiritual journey of late. I've been filling a lot of my work and free time with reading spirituality related books and films. The first major spiritual philosophy I've tackled is the Judeo/Christian/Islam paradigm. I just finished a book called "101 Myths of the Bible" written by Gary Greenberg, and it was one of the most eye opening books I've ever read. I find myself wanting to talk to a lot of people about what I read about, but I hold back because I don't want them to think I am attacking what they believe in.
A part of me has been dealing with my own prejudice towards Christianity. I think my prejudice comes with a good reason, but that doesn't make it good or justified that it's present. I don't want to be prejudice, so I've been fighting it. The reason for my prejudice is simple: the way LGBT people including myself have been treated has not been good. I immediately go on the defensive around people who declare themselves to be of the Christian persuasion. I find myself thinking thoughts like "They're going to attack me for being trans or lesbian. I need to get away from this person or undermine their reasoning." Essentially it's a fight or flight reaction.
My goal right now is to actively address these thoughts as they occur and acknowledge that they are prejudice thoughts. This technique has really helped me open up and be friends with some coworkers that I'd probably back away from normally. So, it's helping. And since it is, I'll continue to attack these thoughts in the same way as they appear.
Prejudice has been something that I became acutely aware of recently because I discovered one of my close friends was blaming all of her problems on people of a certain skin color. She refused to take any personal responsibility for negative things that happened to her. She was and to my knowledge still is putting the blame solidly on people that are less fortunate than her, namely black people. I called her on her prejudice and blatantly racist attitude, but she wouldn't back down. So unfortunately, I ended the friendship. Perhaps that wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I had hoped it would send a message to her that racism is not something that is welcome or tolerated. I hope for her sake and for the people around her's sake, she opens up and changes. It's hard to accept that you are being racist or prejudice, and it's even harder to address and try to change. But it's worth the effort.
Anyway, I'll try to post more tomorrow. I have off and have time. So until then...see ya later.