I am very impressed and surprised by the local newspaper. They published my article last weekend. Since then several letters to the editor have been printed. Some of them have been good. Some have not. However, I have been periodically checking online to see what's going on. I noticed something today. Every day my article gets updated so that it's listed as first and current. They aren't printing it in the paper again, but they have been making sure it gets exposure online.

I would have never expected that kind of attitude towards my column at all. Apparently they thought it was well written enough to continually update it so it's seen. I am going to thank them for doing so. They're really helping make a difference here. I was told recently that usually newspaper's attitudes are usually very similar to the surrounding town's environment. This time that may not be the case. Good for them. If you want to read the article, go ahead. It's posted in the "TransLife Diaries" diary.

All of what has happened has definitely affected me though. I constantly have this feeling of fear over my head that something will happen to me because of this. I also am a little nervous for the community. I'm angry that the LGBT community center in the town has done jack shit about this too. I've done what I can for now. But that community center is nothing more than a social place. Many of us are frustrated that they don't actually reach out to the community at all. I'd have to say that I'm a little depressed too.

Yes...I did say depressed. Everyone always tells me how strong I am...brave...courageous...such a leader. Well, this fearless leader of yours is not perfect or fearless by any means. She deals with depression and loneliness. She has to put up with crap like this newspaper. She still struggles with body image issues. She has even been struggling in areas she normally doesn't...like school. My grades are not going to be pretty this semester. Not the most common for someone people would call a leader.

Anyway, I'm not saying this to make people worry. So please don't call me to make sure I'm ok. I will be fine. It'll be rough going for about three weeks. School will end and I'll be in a better, more relaxed and well rested place. I look forward to that day. In the meantime, I might be a little down and out. Please send me some of your good energy if you can spare any. I'm going to need it. Thank you everyone.