Posted on March 5th 2004, 3:56 pm
That's the title of my first movie....or wait no. But my Thursday did involve both. It was an emotionally trying day. My morning and normal class day went fine. It wasn't until the afternoon until the rollercoaster happened.
In the morning, I was walking to class. As I left one of the buildings, guess who I run into, but the cute lesbian girl I mentioned on my Wednesday post. Her name is Jessica. She was advertising for student elections. She saw me and asked me if I had voted yet, which I had not. She then said, "Since we have the same name, we should vote for the same people." That may not be exactly right, but it's close. So, yeah, I left after that to get to class on time.
After class, I was heading back over to the other side of campus so I could actually vote, and guess who I cross paths with. Jess asked me if I had voted yet, and I told her I was on my way to. She then asked me if I was coming to the meeting at 5:00. The organization she's in is missing an LGBT chair and she said I should consider it. I told her I'd be there.
So, I voted and went off to run some errands before the meeting. Got my prescriptions filled and decided while I was at the store that I was going to buy a Gamecube. So I did that too. I had the extra money and I had been wanting one for about 6 months. I bought a bunch of crap with it and ended up spending more than I probably should have, but I didn't care.
I headed back to get to the meeting on time. And this is where my day started downhill. Jess was there, and that was cool. She's cute. I think I've gotten that point across now. I think it was the topics the group was discussing that started depressing me. A few of the topics were birth control, gynecology in University Health Services, etc. All of it stuff that is so normal for every other woman, but not me. I felt so out of place...like I didn't belong there. I just found myself daydreaming for a lot of it. Then, they get to the LGBT part of the meeting, and one of my friends starts spouting off all the information that I should have been. She's not even an officer. Granted she's a former officer and is usually very outspoken...to put it politely. But still, she knew more of the dates than I did. I felt like such a failure. Like, I'm the vice president of the LGBT group, and I don't even know when our events are.
So I was thinking about that for the next hour after that, just letting it dig in. I went to get food, but the whole time I just wanted to cry. I was thinking about how sick I am of having the harder life. How I have to be different from everyone else. Life is just so unfair, but I had to keep going. I headed back to get ready for the LGBT meeting after getting my food. When I got back into the student center, guess who I ran into again....yup Jessica. This time it was more of a one on one thing. She and I talked and it was cool. I asked her how she did in the polls. She got elected to senate. I congratulated her and told her I voted for her. Then I said, "Then again, I always vote for the cute girls." At that point I left, because I knew if I stayed longer I'd make an ass of myself. But she seemed flattered.
So the meeting I was worried about. The president was gone, so I had to run it myself. I wasn't in all that great of emotional state either. So I was fighting to get myself under control, and did ok. Surprisingly, the meeting went really really well. It actually went better than meetings normally go. I was amazed. I think it's because I planned ahead and was much more organized than I have been before. I think I could handle running the group. It really boosted my confidence too. I needed that.
All in all I ended the day feeling proud of myself. I had a weird emotional thing happen where I was really down and just about started crying, and ended the day happy. I also made the first move....I guess you could put it that way. I really hope something happens with Jessica. I think she's really cute....did I mention that yet? I hope I see her more often now. I just hope she isn't uncomfortable with trans people. I wouldn't be surprised though. Such is the life of a transgender. I'll write more later.