Last night was our LGBT group's social at a nearby club. I've never gone clubbing before, so it was a new event for me. Because most of our members are under 21, we had planned for 18 and up night. So, there were a lot of young people there. I felt so old compared to everyone else. Most of my group was under 21. I'm the vice president, so I felt responsible. I pretty much deemed myself the chaperone for the night.

That was pretty much my excuse. I have a very hard time letting go when it comes to dancing. It's one of the few fears I have yet to conquer. So, yeah...I was the chaperone in my mind. That kept me in my little "I don't want to dance" shell. I sat there and felt sorry for myself for about 2 hours. I watched the dancing, checked out the girls, and chatted with the friends that came to the table to rest. It was dreadfully boring...until something happened.

There was a girl checking me out for about half the time I was there. I had noticed earlier. I thought she was cute, so I kept making eye contact with her. She eventually came over and asked me to dance. I had to. I wasn't going to turn her down. So I broke out of my shell and went. She was a cute little Mexican girl named Lola. She seemed surprised when she asked me my age and I told her I'm 23. She then told me she was 20. I can tell you right now, she wasn't 20. She was probably 18.

Anyway, it was fun. She actually worked at the club and eventually had to get back to her job. I talked with her a little bit and that pretty much solidified that she was not 20. It was fairly obvious, but it still was a self esteem booster for me. My friends were nothing but questions when I went back to them. A few of them were proud of me. I had a big grin on my face too. The last hour we were there was actually fun. I should go out dancing more. My fear of dancing better watch out. I'm coming to break it down.

After the club closed, we all went to Denny's to eat. It was fun too. I made a new friend. My two lesbian friends were making this straight, old couple very uncomfortable. We could tell they were trying not to stare at them. There was a table of mexican guys that were checking me out very obviously. That was uncomfortable for me. And then two drunk guys came over to hit on our table. We were just leaving. So that saved us that trouble. All in all it was a fun night. It definitely was a self-esteem builder for me. I needed it after that heartbreak of mine a few weeks ago.

I slept over at my friend Emilie's house. I had this dream I could fly...and eventually was wearing the supergirl outfit. That was fun. I was happy to see myself as female even in my dreams. That's been happening on a more regular basis now. It's taken a year for my brain to forget my former male body. I was just so used to seeing that body that my brain took this long to adjust to what I look like now. I'm relieved about that. I like being me all the time.

Speaking of sleep, I should probably get some. It's been quite the few days. Good night all.

Luv,

Supergirl...er....Jess