Posted on November 28th 2008, 7:09 pm
Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends. For me...Thanksgiving was the end of a relationship. My girlfriend...or ex-girlfriend rather...broke up with me late last night. Today I'm a swarm of emotions. Above all, I feel alone. I know that my family is there for me, my best friend is there for me, and quite a few of my other friends are there for me too. Still...you know how it is after a breakup. It hurts.
Learning about your faults is hard. Learning about them in this environment is even harder. I found out that I have an ego problem. I find it ironic since I recently got into an argument with a friend about his ego being too puffed up, and here I am talking about myself so much. It's also ironic that I do so in a blog where talking about one's experiences seems the purpose of the blog. No...what truly hurt me is that she wasn't willing to work with me on it.
I love Jenn. I probably always will. I was caught completely unaware of the situation, and now I'm reeling. It's 1:00 in the afternoon, and I'm still in my pjs.
What I learned about myself is that I need to listen more. I am a proud person. I talk about my experiences with that pride beaming. I never once gave thought to the fact that people don't want nor do they need to hear about me that much. In fact, I barely even noticed. How humbled I feel to know that Jenn, Chris, my parents, and my sisters all felt the same way.
Something tells me that this will change me drastically. I'll keep a lot to myself now. I think I will likely use this medium to get my experiences out. Maybe then, I won't feel the need to blab about myself so much to my friends and family.
Perhaps this will truly inspire me to do something. Maybe it already has. I started writing a blog again. That's something.
That's the inspiration of loss. I love you Jenn and thank you to all my friends and family that have shown me support today.