The theme of today is love. So I'll start my series of blog updates with an update on my love situation.

To start on a sour note, I'm single again. Lindsay and I broke up after two months. Don't feel bad for me, because it's not a big deal. Lindsay and I really felt more like friends than anything. It was mutual and we still talk and hang out and stuff. Of course, I'm really busy and so is she. So we don't hang out all that much, but still...we try. She's the one who brought up the feel of the relationship, and it really made sense. It still pulled at the heartstrings a little, but not like a big breakup would. So I'm off in single world again.

Honestly, I'm really ok with that. I've discovered a lot about myself during that two month span. Namely, I am so used to being single at this point that I'm not sure how comfortable I am in relationships. I think I appreciate the closeness of a relationship once in a while, but that's enough. My friend Rachel threw at me one of those "Women are probably lining up to date you now" lines, but that's not really true. Besides, I don't really have time to be in a relationship right now. So with that, Happy Valentine's day everyone.

Strangely, I'm ok with online relationships. I think they let me know that people out there are interested and care about me, and I think I need that. Though I will admit that I was struggling with some issues while I was dating Lindsay. Namely, I realized that I wasn't all that physically attracted to her. That really bothered me, because I've discovered that as much as I've told myself that personality is the most important and the physical body doesn't matter, I'm wrong. Well...not completely. While personality is still the most important, if physical attraction isn't there, the relationship isn't going to work.

My issue was that I felt superficial because I wasn't attracted to her. I felt chaeuvanistic because my physical attractions lie in the more feminine images of women. I really felt bad about it, and I didn't know what to do. I think she was noticing that there was something going on too. She didn't pry and is a very perceptive girl, and I'm not surprised she decided to discuss the feel of the relationship. We never really clicked in right. Now that I've had time to process things, I understand that I'm not superficial because of this issue. I can't control who I'm attracted to, and there's nothing wrong being attracted to the more feminine image of women. So I'm not a stereotypical lesbian. I think I'm very comfortable with that. And now I know what is "my type".

So that's the moral of the story. Stay tuned tomorrow for "Update 2: something else"

Luv,
Jess