Posted on August 4th 2005, 12:46 am
My vagina is one year old officially today. I'm so excited. I bought chocolate for my friends in housing to celebrate. A friend gave me most of a piece of French Silk pie...soooo good. It's been a pretty good day thus far. Plus, the new design for the diaries is up. I hope you like it. I definitely do. It's not fully done yet. I'm going to be adding neat stuff like e-mail subscriptions to diaries, printable versions of posts, the ability to e-mail posts to friends, integration with the forum, who is online info, WYSIWYG text editors, and more. It's a work in progress.
So anyway, on to the life update. The past few weeks have been good for me. I'll start with the really influential stuff. The day after I got stood up for a date, I was on redvsblue.com. It's a fun website that is video game/film oriented. It has a small journal on it and I syndicated the info about getting stood up on it. I was getting these messages from this girl about film all of a sudden. Then, she started hitting on me. We got to talking and discovered we had a lot in common.
At the time, I was still pretty upset about being stood up. If you know me at all through my diary, you knwo that I am not big on internet long distance stuff. Nor do I have good history with them. Nor do I have much trust in the people I meet online. Yet...here I find myself face to face with a girl that's extremely interested and I find myself interested back.
Her name is Sabrina. She's from Texas. That's pretty long distance for me. I will admit that I went into it fully expecting nothing to happen. I expected that we would talk and flirt for a couple days. I came out to her the second day about being trans. She didn't care at all...like...totally cool. I figured that'd be it...but it continued. We talked every night for the next two and a half weeks, and I mean we really talked. It was at least an hour each time.
Despite my trust issues and reservations about things like this, I found myself having real feelings for her. Since then, they've only grown. Lauren and Julie have noticed a distinct improvement in my attitude as well. I'm a lot less depressed and stand-off-ish. I'm happier and much more cheery. Julie even said she liked me like that. Grumpy Jess sucks. Its nice to feel this way too.
I'm incredibly insecure about the whole relationship though. Every night I think she's not going to come online to talk to me. And every night I'm happily surprised. I have friends that are worried that I'm going to get hurt again, and they have right to do so. They care about me, and that means a lot. But we're still going strong. I like that. Though, I haven't talked to her in a couple days. She found out her dad's cancer is relapsing. So she went home to be with him for a bit. I know I'll talk to her when she gets back. Wish me luck with this. I really need it.
Aside from that, I got to go home for my older sister's wedding shower. Honestly, I wasn't really looking forward to it that much. Yet, it turned out to be a lot of fun. When I heard my cousin Sherrie was going to be there, I was excited. We've e-mailed several times, but we haven't seen each other in ages. In fact, she had never seen me as Jessica in person prior to this weekend. She’s really awesomely cool though. We bonded during the party. I think we're going to be good friends from now on...at least I hope. I know she's going to read this, so I also must say that she is beautiful. I've always thought that from when I was younger. I just wanted everyone to know that. :)
I also got to be the photographer at the shower. That was a blast. I took about 200 photos. I'll post some of them in the gallery soon. A few of my favorites are of little Kalina. She's my sister's soon-to-be step daughter. She's 2 years old and is probably the most adorable thing I've seen aside from kittens and puppies...hmmm or they could come in at a tie. I'm not sure. I'll post those pictures too. :)
The night before the shower I was visiting my best friend Seth. He's a gamer geek...which is cool in my book, and he runs a gaming store by my home town. Despite the fact that I never was a gamer, I still think gaming is cool and geeky at the same time. I stop in to say hi every time I can. The store now carries the new Star Wars Master Replica Force FX lightsabers. They're about $130. I got to play with the ones on display. Soooo much fun. I hit a nerd in the head. Hehehe :D.
Seth and I got to catch up on stuff. I got to hang out and bond with his future fiancee (they are so going to get married). And it was fun. I found out what their plans are for when they eventually do get married. I was going to be Seth's best man before the transition. Obviously things have changed. Turns out that Hannah, his future fiancee, would have loved to have her brother in the wedding too. So instead of the regular thing, I get to be the Best Maid and her brother will be the Man of Honor. :) So cool for me.
So that's my last few weeks that I can think of. I'll write an addition later if I need to. Enjoy the new site design and I'll write again soon. Bye.Luv,