Posted on September 11th 2004, 5:31 am
I caught a cold. I had no clue I did until just this morning when I woke up with a sore throat. I hoped I had just been breathing through my mouth and my room was dry or something, but it never went away. Now it's close to 11:00 at night, and I'm starting to blow my nose. I can just tell this is going to suck. I just hope I'm not extremely nasal on Wednesday or Friday because, I have to give a speech in my speech class. I'm so excited about it too, and I hope that it's not ruined by my cold. Ugh...
I'm sorry I haven't been updating regularly. Over the majority of August, I didn't have reliable internet access at my parents house. I'm trying to catch up and post my diary entries from the month. I'm sure people are interested in how the surgery went and what recovery was like. So that should be up soon. I just have to find some time. Now that school has started, I'm so busy I can barely find time to eat something. I'm hoping to get those entries up sometime this weekend. Watch for them if you're interested.
School has been very busy, but exciting. I have fifteen credits as well as a lot of other stuff on my plate. Last night I hired five people to work in the production department at the TV studio. That was the first time I've hired someone ever, and it was hard. I had something like 25 applicants. Everyone was enthusiastic. So it was hard to pick. I felt so bad calling up the people to tell them no. It was a good experience for me though at least for my career. I am likely going to have to do that more often in the future.
My gender studies class has been fun so far. I've made friends with the professor. She's a lesbian, and very cool at that. We're going to work together on a lot of things. I'm excited for that. My other classes are very interesting and very much my speed. One of them, Interpersonal Communication, could be very good, but the professor is just so dull in his teaching. I think I'll do well in all my classes though. I'm shooting for the dean's list again.
I didn't realize how much I missed the kids at the youth group until I came back. I was so excited to see all of them again. It was great. I love volunteering. I've also started to become better friends with Erin, another volunteer in the group. She's really cool. I think we get along really well. I hope we get to hang out more often. She's been giving me advice on Jill.
So...Jill....might as well move onto her. I talked to her last weekend. After I got home from the party and the bars (yes, you heard that right. I went to a goodbye party and out to the bars with my TV station friends afterwards. No, I didn't drink. And yes, it was fun), it was about 3:00 am. Jill had left me a message, so I replied. She was still online and we talked for about an hour. She was as flirtatious if not more than the first day we met. She asked me to stand back so she could see how I looked ( I have a webcam). So I did that, and she really liked it. She even commented on how she was flirting too much. I was a little overwhelmed actually.
So, Sunday night came around, and we talked for two hours. This time, we had a heart to heart about stuff. She asked me why I still had doubts about her. I ended up thinking about that for a few days, but regardless, she understood. There was one point in which I told her that she can always expect honesty from me. She said that if I hadn't, that we wouldn't be the friends we are. I immediately though...ugh, the f word. She then said, "No, I'm not giving you the f word either". It was like she read my mind. After that I made a comment how we are just friends. We aren't dating or anything. She responded to that...well, not yet. So, she seems to want a relationship. She said she'd talk to me on Monday.
Monday came and she never came online, nor did she the rest of the week. On Wednesday, I figured out the full answer to her question about my doubts. I decided to e-mail her and tell her. Basically, I'm waiting for her to give me a reason to trust her. She wont tell me her last name, she wont turn her webcam on, she wont call me...etc. I want some sign that says "You can trust me". I doubt she's checked her e-mail yet. I haven't seen her online at all. No offline messages either. So, we'll see what happens. Erin tells me I should just drop her and move on. At this point I think there's a good chance she's just wasting my time, but I don't want to believe it just yet. I'll give her one last chance. I just can't afford to focus so much energy on worrying whether there's something between her and I or not. Feel free to comment with your opinions on what I should do.
Well, I think this post is long enough. I need to get some sleep too. I'll write more this weekend. Good night.