Today sucked....all around. It started with me waking up late and literally having to run to work to get there on time. I hate that feeling. The whole day started on the wrong foot. Had to miss breakfast entirely. I like food, so that's not a good thing. After that, things just kept going downhill.

I got to work just slightly late...which surprisingly was ok. My boss didn't yell at me. That's rare, so I just went with it. I was sweating and breathing rather heavily, so maybe he understood. After that it was right to the phones. In between calls, I came here and checked the comments on my entry. The first was rather accusatory. I immediately went on the defensive obviously and commented back. Then I got another comment....which sprouted off into a huge offline debate. It was really frustrating and emotionally stressful.

I guess I'm just sick of having to defend my emotions or what I wrote. This diary is for me to vent and express how I feel about things. I didn't judge anyone, I just merely expressed my displeasure with an attitude/behavior issue. I totally felt attacked. In a way, I felt like I was being accused of being a hipocrite. After the multiple e-mails between my friend and I, I learned that in much of what I said, they agreed with me. So, I felt a lot better, but still, I should have to. This is not what I needed right now by any means. Her and I will discuss those issues tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes.

After all that, I just tried to keep my mind off things and watch some TV. I don't do that all that often, and it helped for that short time. Afterwards though, I kept thinking that I haven't heard from Steph since last Monday night and still haven't heard from her. I keep trying to tell myself that she's busy with moving and stuff, but there's this part of me that just says nothing is going to happen. That's what usually happens to me. I'm going to call tomorrow, but after that I'm not sure.

So with all that crap, I was just in a terrible mood tonight. Eventually I cried. I needed it. I couldn't keep all that frustration pent up anymore. Leslie and I hung out just to talk and keep both of our minds off of our emotions. It helped. We were both in a philisophical mood. It was a great time. I love having friends to lean on.

I should probably get some sleep since I don't want to wake up late again tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better than today. Wish me luck. G'night.

Luv,

Jess