Posted on March 21st 2004, 6:37 am
It's amazing how a day can be ruined by a single moment. I just got in an argument with my mother right before she went off to bed. She thinks I'm an ungrateful child. She think that all this time they've been helping me, that I've just been planning on taking the money and running. I apparently have no intention of ever paying them back.
When I finally realized what her point was, I was so hurt I started crying. All this time, I had been planning on giving them back everything and more. I wanted to be able to pay my parents back ten fold. I also wanted to become someone they could be so proud of. Someone they could say to everyone "yup, that's our daughter." She didn't realize that apparently. She says I don't care about other people's opinions. If that's true, then I know who I got it from, because everything I said bounced right off her. I just don't like her opinion on always telling me to change my hairstyle. She and my sister are the only two that don't like it.
God I can't stop crying. She has no idea how much it hurts to hear that from her. I made an appointment to see my kidney doctor. I was told that I need to be monitored to insure that my kidney function is ok. They told me I'm a high risk patient. My mother thinks I shouldn't go, because she doesn't like the guy I see all based on a couple comments by a friend of hers. My mom is one of very little faith. She could be working with a doctor for 30 years, and if one little thing went wrong, she'd leave.
I'm going to check to make sure if this guy is covered under our new insurance plan. If he's not, the appointment is cancelled. I'm just sick of the whole thing. I do need to get a check up though. So in that case, I'll find another doctor. Ugh, she's just so frustrating at times. She never listens to anything I say. I told her everything I knew about SRS, and she wouldn't believe it. When she heard it all today at the seminar, I was right. Ugh, no faith whatsoever.
I'm going to stop bitching and finish crying. Bye.